They’re Off Their Rockers!

Mommy and Daddy that is.

Oh, hi, I ought to tell you why we’ve been off line. It seems we lost our internet privileges for skipping school and they, well, forget to give them back! This is so silly. We both got punished because of Carla’s big paws on the keyboard. I already graduated, top of my class, mind you, and even I got punished for skipping! I think if I was top in my class, even if they didn’t understand cat ways, my grades should be enough to get me not punished

I think they have been preoccupied with their new project. I think they might be overworked as our staff. I try to be a benevolent ruler of the house and Carla tries not to abuse the staff too, but maybe they just try so hard to please us that it messed them up. Carla and I think they’re building a cat!

Here’s the situation: Every time they brush us they tell us there’s “enough fur to make another cat.” Really, that’s a quote, they say that. When they leave the room with our fur I never think about what they do with it. I mean it’s shed fur, we don’t need it. I figured they threw it out, maybe kept some like some humans do with rock star’s hair. I never thought they were serious about making another cat!

So yesterday they brought in supplies and put a door on a room that never had a door. They even closed the door and locked us in our room a couple times. What’s up with that? And the smell. It smells like a cat, but it’s wrong. There is a lot of Carla and me smell, of course, we live here, but it smells like another cat too. They’ve already constructed their Frankencat made out of our fur!

This morning I know I heard a meow from that room, I know I did. Then Daddy closed us in our room again. Maybe I’m getting too close to figuring out what they’re doing!

We’ll keep you posted.

What’s REALLY Going On

Sometimes I worry that Carla actually thinks the things she blogs in her sleep are real. After that picture she blogged about happened, I swatted at her and she left. Nobody messes with my sunny spot. Mommy made a scrapbook page about it. She makes good scrapbooks. Of course that’s because she has great things to scrap about. Sometimes she does pictures of Daddy and our cousins too, but that’s to make it so people look forward to more cat pages.

Here is what Mommy saw:

Okay, so there’s the truth. But I don’t hold it against Carla. She sleep-blogs if she gets a chance and sometimes Mommy leaves my computer on.

Where we’ve been is another story, not the one Carla tried to tell at all. Mommy has been doing organizing. That's moving things from one stack to another and then she makes Daddy put the stacks in different places. I think she just does it to entertain us and that’s okay. If she does stuff on the computer she doesn’t want to pet me and even tells me not to stand on the keyboard! I’m just trying to help. She makes so many typos!

Then she took a break to go see our cousins graduate from people school and she took my computer with her! Carla and I couldn’t blog when she took my computer! I think she needs to get a computer of her own. Now her excuse for not letting me blog is that she had “writer’s block.” What does that have to do with ME writing??


The picture on top is me in my bedroom. Mommy and Daddy sleep there too on the daybed, where Carla and I sleep in the afternoon. I like to spend a little time on Mommy’s hip at night before I go to my quilt with all my bears. Then I go sleep on the daybed with Carla by their feet. Tickling their feet is how we let them know it’s daytime and time for us to get the daybed after breakfast. Sometimes I let Carla sleep in my bed with my bears too but usually during the day when I have the daybed. Once in a while, when she has a bad dream, I’ll let her curl up with me and the bears.

A few nights ago she had a dream that all the world’s salmon was gone! I shivered when she told me about it! I think she’s just getting nervous about starting school in the fall. That’s where the bad dreams come from. Obedience school starts when you’re four and she won’t be four until a week after school starts. I guess being almost a kitten compared to your classmates might make you nervous. I think she’ll do fine. She’s been doing okay making Daddy open the window for us, but he doesn’t always do it. The days where she seems to do the worst with Daddy are they days when it’s really sunny and really warm; the BEST days for open windows. Maybe Obedience school will make her better at telling him.

I Love Football

Behind Dark Eyes

This was a holiday today, Super Bowl Day! For the holiday, Daddy and Mommy pulled the short couch around in front of the TV and sat together to watch. I love it when they sit together because then I get to walk all over the couch and the pillows and them. Super Bowl Day is especially great because they don’t move!

I like people sports shows that have great cats and human people talking that aren’t afraid to admit that the tom is better at the game than the people. We were all cheering for the Patriots because they have a tom named Brady who plays for them. Everyone kept talking about how great Brady is. So, I got in between Daddy and Mommy on the couch and it was nice and warm. Then they both scritched my ears and my chin and all over my back and I just rolled over on my back and even let them rub my tummy. It was so nice! They just kept watching TV and petting me and wow, it never had to stop! Cuddling on the couch between Daddy and Mommy isn’t Kaline’s thing. She doesn’t know what she’s missing.

When the game was over Daddy complained that the wrong team won. But I figure that all the petting I got means it didn’t matter because I was the biggest winner this Super Bowl Day!!

Resolutions?

Photo credit: M. Lividini

Behind Dark Eyes

Well it’s the end of the year and Mommy suggested we make a plan for the New Year. Daddy called it “resolutions.” I don’t know what resolution is. Kaline doesn’t even know what resolution is and she graduated obedience school!

Kaline thought it sounded like doing puzzles again. Mommy does that! She solves then again when she knows the answer so she can do it faster and get better scores. But the human dictionary doesn’t have solution and resolution in it together. Resolution is on a different page.

I found it. I know why we don’t know what resolution is. Why would a cat need to know that? Cats don’t need to fix anything!

But maybe we need to make resolutions so Daddy knows what needs to be changed! Kaline told me that maybe I was ready for school in the fall after all because that was pretty smart to know that!


Daddy had some suggestions. He thinks I should not go into the train room with him every time he goes in because I knock things over when I climb. I think that’s a good resolution, so my first resolution is that Daddy should stack things better in the train room so I don’t knock them over when I climb.

Kaline says the best resolution was already done when they moved the loveseat so there was a fresh side for her to scratch on.

Santa Paws brought us a bunch of treats, so we should resolve to eat them all before they get stale. That’s a good resolution.

Oh, and paper balls! I resolve to get more paper balls and remember where I put them so Mommy can find them when she cleans so I don’t run out of room.


I never knew Aunt Azzie, but Kaline tells me stories about her. Papa gave her moist food every night! I think we should resolve to do that! Kaline told me we should wait until I graduate from obedience school because it’s gonna take 2 obedience school graduates to get both Mommy and Daddy to obey together.

We got canned food on Christmas! It was very yummy! After dinner we played chase around the cat-toy tree and played with the catnip mice Santa Paws brought in our stockings.

Um, Kaline tells me I should make a resolution not to get distracted. That’s why I lose my paper balls.

I don’t know why I need to make a resolution to not get distracted I’m I see my catnip mouse. I’m gonna go play!

Holiday? Hmmmm...

Every few months, we're all black cats on Friday!

This morning, I woke Mommy up way before her alarm to pet me. You know what she did? That’s right, she pet me! I don’t even know if she really woke up. I just said pet me and she did. I think I have my final project aced for school! Getting done early has given me time to ponder something else that is pretty huge!

I like holidays, I really do. But the holidays I like are the ones we share with EVERYBODY. Thanksgiving and December. There’s something for everyone in December. Opening Day, which is totally an everyone holiday. Baggle says to ask Mommy because he is sure there is baseball in the Jungle Book, just like in Dances With Wolves. It got edited, but it was there! Memorial Day and Labor Day are good because we usually get to see our Grandma, unless the weather is bad and Mommy and Daddy stay home. I like the Fourth of July, but more in the daytime than at night. There are a lot of loud noises at night. There are personal holidays that you get, but they’re better to share too. That’s the important thing about holidays. SHARING.

Carla says she gets a holiday Friday. “It’s a black cat thing,” she says. What? She is gonna have a special holiday that she doesn’t share? That’s so street cat! I decided to do some internet research.

It seems that HUMANS are the ones that made black cats all that on Friday The 13th. Not all cats scare people, just the black ones. That’s just silly! Maybe that’s why they declaw cats, afraid of them. Well, why they’d declaw the black ones anyway. It’s all so dumb. If a human can tie us down and knock us out to declaw us, how scared can they be? Boy some humans are just out there. We are kind and benevolent rulers!

So here’s what I think humans should do on Friday. Wake up on time, have a good breakfast with some milk and share it with your cat. Go out for lunch and bring some salmon home for your cat. Then when you come home, watch a baseball game with your cats and give them extra treats. (Daddy, are you reading this?) And if a black cat crosses your path, give it a scritch behind the ears and send it home to its people. Unless it doesn’t have a home, then you should consider adoption. Feeding cats and giving them good homes to rule is the best way to keep the bad luck away.

So we'll all celebrate on Friday. It’s the day when, just like the people are all Irish in March, we’re all black cats on Friday the 13th.

Have a lucky day!

Creative Genius

Mommy needed good words to make a scrapbook page of this picture.

That’s what I am, Mommy even says so. She called me a muse. That’s a creative genius person. I helped her make a scrapbook page and we wrote a song, a GREAT song. I think I’m going to make it my theme song.

Here is what we wrote:

Kaline’s Favorite Things

Treats made in Iowa for this whiskered kitten,
Blankets to sleep on and sunshine to sit in
Brown plastic shopping bags, chasing a string.
These are a few of my favorite things

Cream flavored liquid and ham by the oodles,
Catnip filled mice when they mess with my noodle
Chipmunk on TV and when Mommy sings,
These are a few of my favorite things

I told Mommy that I needed to add the cable box in my song. I love to sit and sometimes sleep on the cable box because it’s warm. Note to all my readers who are also cats, I bet you have a cable box. It’s a cat-sized box with cable-strings coming out of it. It’s warm!!

Mommy’s in school again. She’s taking computer classes like me, so she’s on the laptop a lot and doesn’t like me calling attention to important things like, it’s Kaline time! Hmph. While she is learning how to make computers do stuff, she’s messing with my final project in obedience school. She does okay with stopping to pet me, but then she says I have to stop nudging her because she has school work to do. Boy they weren’t kidding about real life obedience being harder that the book learning! I’ve got until May to finish my project. I AM going to get an A!

Well, back to work on that project. I think we need extra treats…

Afghans at The Rainbow Bridge

A lot of sad things have been going on lately. Mommy and Daddy were sad. Grammy went to Heaven. I bet she’s at the Rainbow Bridge making afghans for all the animals there. She was so good at that. In the picture today, I’m sitting on the one she made Aunt Azzie. That one is Baggle’s now. She made me a pretty one when I was a kitten too. Aunt Azzie always sat next to her when she made afghans and I did sometimes too. She called my Snicklefritz and told me not to chew on the string. Then she’d pet me. Grammy never got to meet Carla, but Mommy brought home some string that she said was Grammy’s string. Maybe Mommy can make an afghan for Carla.

My Grandma that I never met, Daddy’s Mommy, went to Heaven too. Daddy said she loved cats and that’s why Daddy loves cats so much. She taught him how to be smart!! If my Grandma loved cats, I know we would have gotten along great! I wonder if she’ll make afghans at the Rainbow Bridge with Grammy? Maybe Chester and Aunt Azzie will show them around Heaven.

Well, I get along better with Carla now. She’s clumsy and pushy, but she can be fun too. She plays a lot rougher than I do, but it’s fun to rabble rouse a little. I just get tired of it and want to sit with Mommy before she calms down. Mommy said I was a hyper kitween too; Carla is only a year and a half old, three years younger than me. Maybe she’ll grow up to be a calmer cat. But for now, I still have to hiss every now and then and even growl sometimes when she gets out of line. Kids!

Sometimes Baggle kitten-sits her during the day and they sleep on the bed together so I can get an uninterrupted nap, but sometimes, she’s quiet and we can sleep together. I really don’t mind when she cuddles Mommy during the day because I know she’ll stop when Daddy gets home to cuddle him. Carla is smart enough to know that Mommy is still mine first! Carla sleeps next to Daddy at night and I sleep on Mommy, so we don’t get in each other’s way. It’s okay. Baggle comes in in the morning and we all sleep withy them until they wake up. Then Daddy gets our breakfast. I'm happy to say, we're all adjusitng well!

I Was SO Brave!

Yep, that’s me last night! You read that right, LAST NIGHT, Halloween! I stayed downstairs when the spooky spirits tried to come in from the Cat TV screen. The spookies still came in bunches and they were scary too. So many of them from outer space last night, Mommy and Daddy did so good fending them off last year that they called for backups from outer space! Then there was one who tried to trick us into thinking he was a dog, but I saw a people face! It was a small people in a dog suit! That was really scary. I might have come closer and been nice to a dog and then, bam, they take me away from my home, family and treats to live in the TV. I do not want to live in the TV. It’s fun to watch, but I bet scary to live in.

But I trust Mommy and Daddy. They threw those candy bombs at the spookies and the spookies ran. Most of them made threats or anyway, they said “thank you.” Like “thank you” is sincere when you say it after someone throws a candy bomb at you to make you run away. But I stayed downstairs mostly, except when I went to check on Baggle, who was still hiding. I told him it was safe with Mommy and Daddy on the front lines. Well, right behind the screen. They said it was warmer last year when they were in front of the TV screen on the other side. Of course it was warm last year. They put fire in the pumpkin! This year Daddy painted with marker on the pumpkin and they put the pumpkin on the other side of the TV screen. No fire in it meant it wasn’t warm. Parents over-think things sometimes.

So the spookies swarm ended and lights went out on TV. We used up all the candy bombs Mommy made and some of the extra candy ammunition, but there was a lot left. Mommy says those are treats for people. They don’t smell like much, but Daddy sure seems to like the pills rolled up in little tubes. They call them Smarties. I guess if he eats enough of them, he’ll remember that fire makes it warm.

So Baggle and I survived another Halloween together. He’s a good brother, even if he is still chicken on Halloween. Baggle wants to write a blog too, but we decided we could share mine. I want to ask Mommy to make him a logo so you’ll know when he’s writing and when it’s me. That might take a little while because Mommy and Daddy are very busy right now. They keep telling us that we might even have to help out! For the last week they’ve been talking about something Mommy is going to do and that Baggle and I will have assist her tomorrow. Can’t imagine what is so important that we have to help, but we kinda owe Mommy and Daddy for getting us treats in Iowa during the honey moon, so well get ready for assist her tomorrow. Well, I have cat manager stuff to do before I cuddle up with Mommy and Daddy in bed.

Finally Back to Normal!

I know. It’s been a while since I’ve blogged. There has been so much going on!

My Grammy, who makes the cat afghans, got really sick. She was in the people hospital for a long time and Mommy stayed with her a lot. I think her voice got the most sick because Mommy doesn’t talk to her on the phone on Mondays now. She leaves for a long time to go see her on Monday instead. It’s nice to go see Grammy when she can’t talk, but Mommy doesn’t give us attention when she goes away. Grammy got sick in August, just before the world’s cat treat supply dried up. That was awful! But Mommy and Daddy came through for us!

In August this year, there was a honey moon. I’m not really sure what a honey moon is, but I know that blue moon is when it is full moon twice in a month. They call the second one blue because it gets werewolves depressed because they have to be dogs again before the month is even over. Maybe the honey moon is when bees get depressed.

Anyway, Mommy and Daddy were talking about the honey moon and Mommy said they’d bring us back treats. I didn’t realize how serious the honey moon was! It took them TWO WEEKS to find us treats! Our Grandma who visits us when Mommy and Daddy pack suitcases visited us while they were gone, but this was different. This time they were on a mission to find cat treats!

There was one bag of Steenkey treats on the dining room table. I thought to myself, since Mommy and Daddy had to go far away to find treats that weren’t killed by the honey moon, that bag of treats may be the last one ever! After they’d been gone for a while, Baggle and I had to take matters into our own paws. If those treats stayed in the bag and dried out, we’d have killed the last cat treats there were. We had to get the treats out before the honey moon killed them! So, we dragged the bag on the ground and chewed our way into it. If we were never going to get treats again these ones weren’t going to get wasted!

Then Mommy and Daddy finally came home with a bag of treats they found in Iowa. Imagine. The honey moon destroyed so many treats they had to go to Iowa to find some! But do we have great staff or what? They braved travelling during the honey moon to make sure we have treats! Even if they could only find one bag, we love them for their loyalty!

But there’s good news! Mommy was washing people dishes the day after they got back and she said “The honey moon is over!” YAY! I heard Daddy agree that the honey moon was over when he was cleaning our litter boxes. Our parents are awesome staff! They really went the extra miles going away to find treats during the honey moon and now that the honey moon is over, MORE TREATS!

Now things are back to normal. I’m catching up on the work I got behind on in my online cat obedience school classes. It’s hard to concentrate on school when your system is getting used to not having treats. We had to ration the bag under the table. It was hard times for cats, but our great staff pulled us through!

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Dog Brings Bug Back From Dead in Indy

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I’ve been so busy with my homework for obedience school that I haven’t had much time for blogging. I’m sorry! But I think I’m going to get an "A" in Cat Rule 101, Making Them Obey. I’m getting ready for fall. I’ll be taking a religious studies class. Baggle tells me I’ll love the religion classes, but he likes the old time religion. Catally, I don’t need to be worshipped. I just want to be a good master for my people!

Did you like my title for this blog? It’s what Daddy calls a headline. Mommy says Daddy would not call it a headline because it’s sensationalism. Now, I haven’t taken any advanced human words classes yet, but I know that when you add “ism” to a word it means it is that way. Sensational is really, really good. So…. Thank you, Mommy!

But back to the headline, I got an email from my cousin in Indianapolis on Saturday. I have a bunch of cousins in Indianapolis now, but this was from my canine cousin, JJ. JJ’s not so good at typing in human, but his cat is worse, so we send emails to each other in human. I think JJ revived a dead bug. I would have asked Mommy to help me read it, but she and Daddy were gone all day Saturday and part of Sunday. JJ’s email said, “ANT UNKILL HERE –JJ”

I’m going to have to show Mommy the funny email her nephew-dog sent! JJ is one of those dogs that give people a funny idea about what they actually mean in other languages. That’s where the people-site with lolcats came from. They have loldogs too. I like how, for the most part, they do have a good idea how we think. It’s a great educational source for humans. I don’t like the way they write the captions, though, like we all type like JJ. Most four-legged domestic companions type human pretty well. It’s a little insulting.

But lolcats are fun and good information that humans should read, so I‘m not going to complain to them about the insult to our species. Cats have thicker fur than cavemen.



Mommy said it was a good idea to put a link to the lolcats and dogs. Just remember the spelling is done by humans…or maybe JJ. Lolcats

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School Online

Mommy and I do our schoolwork on the heated seat!

I’m just sending a short hello today from my heated seat with a computer before Mommy chases me off. We share the seat too. I like sharing things with Mommy as long as she waits her turn! Mommy doesn’t sit on it though. She warms up her wrists with it.

Baggle and I watched Lawnmower Man, starring our Dad, this morning and I HOPE we get to see Chipmunk this afternoon, but it could get bumped for Saturday afternoon Terror Theater. They might be showing Wet World again. It’s an okay show, but I don’t really like scary movies. Last weekend, they cancelled all the regular shows for the miniseries, Carnival at the Catholic Church. That’s a noisy show and all kinds of humans walking in shorts and eating cotton candy gets old by Saturday night.

Mommy uses the heated seat with a computer all the time! She says she’ doing school work. I understand that. I’m taking online classes for obedience school too. I think I’m doing better in school than Mommy is because she keeps reading that book over and over. It’s not because it’s a good book either, I looked at it. In fact she made me get off it when I was looking. I think that’s because I understand it better than she does and she’s embarrassed.

There are puzzle pictures and you have to figure out what they are. They’re a bunch of computers. Mommy looks and still has to go back and read other pages to know that. She says she needs to know what kind they are. Well duh! They’re paper computers and paper computers don’t work, so the kind is “broken.” That’s not fire truck science! Maybe learning just isn’t for Mommy. I don’t have the heart to tell her though.

She also plays a video game that she says is for school...yeah. In the video game you pick out computers and put wire on them. Then you have your cat come and step on the right buttons to undo the wires and see if you can remember where they go. There isn’t anything like THAT in cat obedience school!

In MY class, I’m leaning about the word “obey.” Obey is what dogs and people do, but not together. Dogs do it for people and people do it for cats. Our homework is to get our people to write about “obey” and put it on a blog. Mommy is typing for me today.

See? I’m doing much better than Mommy is in school! I guess I’m gifted.

I Got A New Lap!

Mommy got me a present!

Mommy got a laptop computer. Too cool! If you don’t know what a laptop is, it’s a heating pad that does computer stuff. It’s like a lap you sit on, but you can blog too!

Now, I’m not advertising laptops, but they were created especially for cats and small dogs! Mommy’s is a 15.6 inch laptop. Even Baggle could sit on it! It’s warmer than just the table and it has a motor that keeps it warm and vibrates a little massage too. It purrs like Mamma Cat! The humans that work for us are so good with stuff like that, making things that make all nine of our lives better!

First, they made the can opener to get out food out of the cans. Then they fixed the cans so they had lids that could come off when the can opener wasn’t working. Then, oh then, they put the cat food in bags that we can open with our claws!

Then humans went electronic with cat world improvements. They made the phone thing that rings to remind them to give us treats. Then they made the internet so we could blog and talk to other 4-legged domestic dignitaries. Now they have laptops in all different sizes to keep us warm while we chat or blog. Hey are just too cool.

One thing that wasn’t so cool though, Mommy laughed because I look at the keys when I type. It’s not funny! All animals look at the keys when we type! We don’t have thumbs to type like people do when they don’t look. She should be glad. If we did have thumbs, we wouldn’t have needed them to use the can opener. The world might be a lot different now!

I’m going to take advantage of my new multi function computer and now that my blog is done, I'm going to take a nap on the lap!

Ahhh.. Life is good!

Blanket Thief

MY Tigers blanket with me, where it should be!

Mommy is a sneak and a thief! Two weeks in a row Mommy has left before Daddy got home and she’s taken my Tigers blanket both times! She says she’s going to see AAA Tigers and needs the Tigers blanket to keep warm because she’ll be outside.

HUH?

It’s too cold for tigers to be outside! She took my Tigers blanket to the zoo? I’m so confused! Then she comes home after it gets dark with Daddy. I bet he goes to the zoo and gets her because she’s still sitting in front of the tiger place waiting for them to come out. I’m glad the tigers are smart enough to stay in! Silly Mommy!

But when they come home and I get my stolen blanket back, it doesn’t smell like a zoo. It smells like hot-dogs. The hot dogs are people food and they are not really made out of dogs. I don’t think people eat dogs. It’s not politically correct!

Baggle says the blanket smells like a mud hen. Mommy has cooked a hot dog before and it smells like that, but I don’t know what mud hens smells like. I wonder how Baggle knows!

Anyway, I don’t like it when she takes my blanket and makes it smell like hot-dogs, ew! If she’s gonna steal my blanket, she should at least make it smell good, like salmon or something. Now I’m hungry. I think I need to get Mommy to apologize for stealing my blanket with a treat.

Staff Troubles and New TV Shows

How could they leave darling kitties like us without staff?

I’m kinda mad. Mommy and Daddy went somewhere and I figured out how to turn the computer on so I can blog, but I don’t know how to upload pictures! I’m the cat! I have staff to do that. I delegate. But my staff isn’t in the office. Something about Easter weekend and Saturday dinner. Anyway, I’m going to have Mommy add the picture when she gets home. I need to talk to Baggle. We just can’t have staff take the day off at the same time. Hmph.

Cat TV has been really good this year. The new spring season started and there is a new show that is so cool! We see Squirrely every day in the big front screen on Cat TV. Squirrel, the star of Squirrely is just one of the best actors ever. He is a super hero who scaled trees like he is a giant bug, only he’s faster than a bug. He saves nuts in distress and carries them up the big oak tree to put them back where they came from. I just love action shows.

We also have the Weekday Morning Fights. Animal sports are cool and quicker than people sports. They don’t require a ball either. The current champion is Northside Robin. He has beaten Southside Robin lots of times. Southside Robin is a tough guy though. He keeps coming back to challenge again. Sometimes they have a comedy show between matches. It’s kinda like the people clowns at the rodeo,only its bird clowns. This team of clowns called the Sparrows fly in and mess with Northside Robin. He’s a cool champion. He plays along like the Sparrows are a that and the Sparrows fly off. It makes me laugh so hard I almost fall off the tale I sit on!

Oh an great news! Remember how I told you about Mommy and Daddy getting married? Well, now they said they got some money for getting married and they're going to get us the paid channel for Wild Birds of Ohio!! I guess they're going to stay home for dinner and spend the money for this wedding on us instead of getting married again. I guess that means I should forgive them for wanting to go out for Easter dinner.

Say, I have a question. Why was it getting married when they dressed up before, but it’s Easter now?

Baggle says that a rabbit will come and leave us treats tonight. I wanna see this! I also want to stay up to see him because I know Baggle and he probably wants to eat that bunny. I know the Easter Bunny is supposed to leave chocolate for Mommy. I want to make sure he leaves Mommy’s chocolate before Baggle eats him. That way Mommy will be happy and give us more Steenkey Treats!

To everyone who ordered bunny chocolate, Happy Easter!!

Stuff From The Newspaper

What next? A license to have cat TV on a big screen?

Daddy brought me home a newspaper yesterday. The newspaper is where people who don't have computers at home go to write. They print the articles they like and give them to people to read. They have a website too, but the newspaper is cool to read if both of your parents are hogging the computers.

There is a section of the paper where people who don’t go to the Newspaper to write can have their articles printed in the paper too. I think the newspaper plays favorites with the people who go there to write because you see a lot of the same names!

Well, one article in the section for people who don’t go there to write really caught my attention. You can see it here: Letters To The Editor. It’s the second article called, “Cats Never Sought Human Contact.” It’s written by an expert on the subject.

What troubles me is what the article is about. Licensing for cats! The city wants me to have a license to keep Mommy and Daddy in my home! I don’t think cats should have to have licenses. That’s just silly! What's next? Will I have to get a license for hunting mice in my own house?

I asked Baggle what he thought about it. He told me, “Cats were once worshiped as gods. I'm still keeping the faith.”

I’m not as religious as my brother. I believe that humans are equal to cats, they’re differently equal, but equal. I read a political book about equality. If you don’t respect that all species are equal, the pigs take over!

Anyway, I’m just kinda upset about having to get a license for Mommy and Daddy. They are staff, not servants. I don’t own them. They work for me. Yeesh!

If the mayor comes to my door and makes me get a license to have Mommy and Daddy, I’ll just have to write a letter to the First Dog!

Happy SUNday!

Stopping by to say "hello!"

Happy Sunday friends! And I mean Sunday too! There is just enough sunshine coming in the windows in our office to make Me and Mommy smile, but not enough to make Daddy smile. Daddy says it’s not enough dependable sun to go see trains, so he’s playing on his fold-up computer downstairs grumbling. He says to the computer something about trips and flush and pears. I think it means that the trip to see trains got flushed down the water box so he wants fruit. Sometimes, I just don’t understand Daddy! Fruit is icky!

Mommy understands better. She’s great staff...well, they are both great staff. I love them a lot. But Mommy listens! I came in and rubbed her leg because I wanted a cuddle. Now I’m a big girl now, I don’t need cuddles like I did when I was sleepy when I was a kitten, but every now and then I like a good cuddle. So, I rub Mommy’s leg and she tells me she always has time to scritch me for a couple minutes. I’m not kidding! She really said that to me. Cool, huh? Well, I sat on her chest and got scritches, but I didn’t stay long enough for her to sing the Sunshine Song to me. I love it when she sings that to me, but I wanted to blog today! So I got on the desk and moved the mouse so she knew to take a break!

Cat TV is getting better. The White Show is slow, like most documentaries are, but there are points when things start to happen, and those are cool! Right now is one of those times. It’s a sad part of the show when the white starts to fade and colors show up. That’s sad because the show is about white. Myself, I like all the different shades of gray! It keeps things interesting! During the show last time I was watching, a dog and his guy walked right past all the white like he didn’t even see it! It wasn’t the First Dog though. They’re still counting ballots in that election. Elections for the leaders of the fur and feather domestic world are a little more complicated than human elections. But don’t worry, we’ll elect a First Dog soon!

Well, I just wanted to check in and say ”hi.” I’m feeling a little hungry. Think I’ll go down and see if Baggle left any kibble in the bowls!

"I'm Catman?"

I love my Daddy, even if he doesn’t know how to turn on a computer!

I watched a people movie. Well, I watched part of one. They really aren’t that good usually, but I had to watch it because Daddy said something confusing. And I watched some and it still makes no sense. He said he couldn’t help me with my blog because it would be like another Batman. HUH?

Whatever. I just need help to get on the computer. I can type. I can make a mouse do anything. I like catching mice and making them do things! But I can’t turn on the computer! I don‘t know where the turn on button is. I see Mommy just reach behind the computer and it turns on. When I do that, it doesn’t work.

I don’t think Daddy helping me blog would be like another Batman at all because I’m way better than a people movie about bats. I think Daddy doesn't know how to turn the computer on either.

Mommy has been very busy with her scrapbook store stuff and I have been very good about not being bossy, but when I realized that Mommy was the only one who knew how to help me, I had to bug her. Besides, she needs a break from her busy stuff, says Kaline!

Well, Happy New Year to the cats, dogs and people who read my blog! I guess everyone else can have a happy new year too, but if they aren’t reading here, they don’t matter as much. I want everyone to be happy, but I want them to read about me more!

A lot has been going on since the last time I blogged!

First off, I’ll mention that the new dog house STILL isn’t done for President Bark! Yeesh! I heard that he’ll finally move in this month. It’s about time! Mommy and Daddy both think it will be a good thing for the country and well, I have friends that are dogs now, so I guess a First Dog is okay. As long as the importance of sharing with other species is represented and the puppy has good staff...well, you know what I mean, dogs don’t really have staff. They aren’t known for their management capabilities, but as long as he is a good representative for the luxurious treatment of other species by humans, I will give my respect to the First Dog of the USA.

This is the worst time of year for Cat TV! Mommy and Daddy don’t open the big screens as much, but that’s okay. This is the time of year for The White Show - I hate documentaries! They are too low action. Older cats seem to like it, but I need more going on!

We had the cat toy tree again this year. I think Mommy and Daddy put it up so we have something to do during The White Show. But the tree shrunk! I went to climb in it, to try to catch the angel, and I got just a couple branches up and just couldn’t get through! I didn’t know trees could shrink! I think it’s just getting old. Things shrink when they get old. We need a new tree that’s as big as the one we had when I was a kitten!

Would you believe Mommy and Daddy got married again last month? Yep, they dressed up one day to go out for a while, and when they came back they said they were married. I heard Mommy call her friend and tell her. They sure made a big deal about it this time. It’s not like they never got dressed up before. Parents are so silly, but I kinda like that they made a big deal about getting dressed up this time. We got extra Steenkey Treats that night!

Oh, and Mommy has had an awful cold! I changed my name to the same last name as Daddy and Baggle right after I moved to Ohio. It was easier when we went to my new doctor’s office if I had an Ohio last name. One day when Mommy went out, she came home with her new name on papers. I guess she must have had to go to the doctor for her cold, so they changed her name to an Ohio name too. Well, we are really all Ohio residents now. We all have the same last name!

Well , I think I’m caught up now. I need to figure out how Mommy turns the computer on so I can do this without help next time!

What's This World Coming To?

Cats are getting squeezed out! I don’t think I like people government!

I don’t know too much about people government and I don’t really care about people politics. I really don’t. As long as they aren’t going to disband the SPCA, I don’t care. At least I used to not care. This year the people hired a new president and I’m worried.

My Aunt Azzie was really big on people politics. She used to watch them on the people-TV with her Mom. Aunt Azzie told me wonderful stories about President Clinton. He was one of the Dem Cats and the First Cat was named Socks. Then there was President Bush, she said everything he did was someplace else, nothing in America, so he wasn’t anyone important to an American cat.

The new president is President Barack, which just sounds a little bit too much like “bark” to me! And to make it worse, when he thanked everyone for hiring him, he said he was going to get his daughters a puppy. A puppy? A PUPPY? I KNEW it! His name IS too much like bark! They hired a dog-person!

To make matters worse, Mommy and Daddy were both very happy about it. They helped to hire a guy who likes DOGS!

Oh, it’s bad. Let me tell you!

Mommy and Daddy have that big people-TV, it’s not quite as big as our big screen cat-TV, but it’s big. It’s big enough that my friends Puff, Don’t Panic and Little Bear live on top of it. Well, it quit being a TV. Mommy and Daddy said it became a big blue radio.

They decided they didn’t want a big radio. Mommy needs to make a phone call to see if they can have someone make it a TV again. If they don’t make it a TV again, they’re going to get Papa to bring one of my Uncles to help take it away! Where will my friends live if they take away their home?

It’s not like President Bark will help a CAT’S friends!

And then last night, before Daddy got in, Mommy moved the metal box with the strings that is on the table next to the people-TV and put it on top of my blanket on the seat I watch TV on! It took up almost half the space!

Then, THEN, Daddy came home and instead of yelling at Mommy for doing that, he brought down another people-TV and used up the rest of my seat! He really did! Can you believe it??

To top it all off, this morning while I was TRYING to get a little space around that dumb old people-TV to peek at Cat-TV, Daddy finally did yell at Mommy. He told her not to open the screen on Cat-TV so much because the people-TV is in front of it.

I’m at a loss for words!

The people hire this dog-guy for their president and they start abusing cats. Their new president guy hasn’t even started working yet. He’s been hired, but he’s waiting over two months to start. It’s something about time to move to the city he has to work in, but the house isn’t finished yet. President Bark is moving into his house in Washington in January, after they paint it. I guess the PUPPY has to have a white house!

What’s this world coming to?

Oh The Horror EVERY Year!

The best I can figure is Mommy and Daddy used to be in the army or something. They were undercover agents. They took out their old spy uniforms last night and went out on enemy soil! I watched them set up just outside the Cat TV screen with all of their ammunition! I guess they meant business when they decided that no giant ladybugs were coming out of the TV!

An old army picture I found of Mommy
and Daddy and one of their army pals

It’s a seasonal swarm as best as I can tell, Halloween is when they all dress up scary and swarm houses. Mommy and Daddy were sitting in front of the screen. I guess it got pretty bad because they didn’t even want me to watch!

When Daddy came home he said that the pumpkin face Mommy made would scare away evil spirits. So that’s what those scary guys that look like human kittens are! I swear they look like young people. But the pumpkin didn’t scare them away either. Daddy put a fire in it and everything and they still came, for TWO HOURS they came.

I scratched at the glass a couple of times, begging them to come out of the TV and just close the screen maybe move the big people TV in front of it. That seems like the only screen the spirits try to come in through. But they were so brave! They had to protect us.

It was bad this year. Mommy used up all her candy bombs and the swarm kept coming. They had to use the candy in the bowls, like little bombs or sprinkling firecrackers. When the swarm was all done, Mommy and Daddy came in, the ammunition was almost GONE! We couldn’t have taken another strike!

I’m glad the evil spirit swarm is only once a year.

My Anniversary

Parents are so silly! My Mommy has a baby picture of me posted on her blog today! Yeesh!

I guess it’s a pretty big day. It’s my Anniversary! It’s 5 weeks after my birthday, the day I came home! Mommy and Daddy were asleep at the exact time, though. They kept telling me that at 1:30 in the morning it was three years. I remember that it was a Saturday though and no one had to work in the morning. Okay. I didn’t remember that. I looked at that link in Mommy’s blog.

I’m glad I lived in Michigan first. Daddy’s basement was flooded! Where would my litter box go? It’s not flooded now. I guess they had to wait until the kitty-bathroom was dry before I could live in Ohio.

Sometimes I forget about the truck-stop. It’s not that I don’t want to remember where I come from! It’s just that I don’t want to remember not having Mommy and Daddy. I don’t want to remember not having Steenkey treats either! I don’t want to remember being cold and I DON’T want to remember fleas!

So, I’ll just think about the last three years. I haven’t been hungry. I haven't been cold. I haven’t been lonely. I’ve been happy and loved! Life as a house cat is still VERY good!