The First Rule of Cat Club…

Hiding out from getting shot!

I can’t believe Carla BLOGGED about skipping school! She blogged about it; everyone knows you don’t tell when you skip school, but she BLOGGED about it! Doesn’t she know Mommy and Daddy both read our blog?

Humans don’t “get” feline obedience school. They think it’s like canine obedience school where dogs go. Maybe it’s because they have parent-teacher meetings every day at canine school. It’s because dogs need more guidance. I’ve never even heard of online classes for dogs. Okay, not to be mean to dogs, but they really are the jocks of the humans’ 4-legged companion world; canine obedience school is almost all gym classes. There is a lot more book-work and homework in feline obedience school. Canine homework is pretty much a human saying “sit, stay, obey.” As if! . Feline obedience school is way past that. When I say “sit, stay” I never have to say “obey.” Mommy and Daddy know the drill well.

But as for Carla telling everybody about skipping the first day of school, people don’t understand that’s a good thing. She explained it right, but the concept is a little complicated for humans. I think Mommy and Daddy both got as far as “Kaline and me both skipped school” and stopped reading and got mad. They got so mad about it they forgot I already graduated. Isn’t there a human law statue someplace with limits for punishing after graduation? By the way, there was a cat statue that says you can’t punish a cat at all, but it got knocked over and broken by a Maine Coon jumping on the table a long time ago. So until they make another statue humans can punish cats within the SPCA guidelines. I learned that in my cat-law class. I don’t think the SPCA does enough for house cats. There should be a stricter SPPC (Society for the Prevention of Punishment of Cats). Or someone needs to rebuild that cat statue!

So Mommy and Daddy punished us. Since Carla wasn’t in school Tuesday because she skipped and snitched on me for 2 years ago, Mommy and Daddy had us shot! They stuffed us in boxes and took us to the place where they shoot cats. The doctor’s assistant weighed us and the doctor looked at us and then they shot us both!! And our parents wonder why we don’t like car trips. It’s the drive-by shots we don’t like! No car, no shot. The vet doesn’t make house calls because they know the dangers of trying to shoot us on our turf.

So now Carla knows the first rule of Cat Club - DON'T BLOG ABOUT CAT CLUB!

School Days Start Today!

Behind Dark Eyes

I’m so excited to be starting Obedience School this year! Kaline finished in June and she said she learned so much useful stuff. The most important thing she told me to remember for today is not to log on to my school account until tomorrow. You see, I’m taking my classes online like Kaline did. She said the first day is the day that stablishes your whole school career! She didn’t go to the first day and warned me that Baggle told her not to go on the first day and she got an A! Well, it’s a pass or fail day, an A or an F. But it’s what they call a benchmark. Before the school year starts, they send an email telling you when the first day is and that you MUST ATTEND. It’s a test! Baggle was a lot older than both of us, so we don’t know if he went to school on his first day, but he was really big on how important it was to skip school on the first day to Kaline and she graduated in the top of her class! So, I’m having my first skip day today!

I’m so excited! I’m already acing Obedience School!

The Cats Days of Summer

Summer is nice for cats! Let me tell you why. There’s sun in the summer and it shines in all the windows and makes everything warm where it’s good to relax. Poor Mommy doesn’t fit on the cat stand or the window sill and whenever she rests on the floor she tries to get up off the floor right away so she never gets to be comfortable. She just needs to learn to relax!

Okay more great things about summer. Holidays! We got a Friday the 13th last month. The best months are the ones with a Friday the 13th! I had great time celebrating with Carla and a bag of Black Catnip!

Now this month is the biggest and best day there is! MY BIRTHDAY! I’ll be seven years old on August 12. I’m a stripey Leo, so I’m half tiger and half lion. Hear that, Carla? You really don’t want to mess with me! We really don’t fight a lot. We share pretty good. Mommy says “for cats” whatever that means.

Carla and I will be sharing birthday cake on my birthday. I get crab for my birthday cake a lot because Mommy and Daddy know that’s my favorite. Next is Carla’s birthday in September. I read that makes her a Virgo. I know what Virgo means and Carla is not a Virgo! But she can pretend to be a Virgo for her birthday. I still think Leo is the best birthday to be. I wouldn’t want to be Pisces. That’s fish. I would have ate my own tail when I was a kitten!

Carla’s birthday will be right after school starts. You’re supposed to be four when you start obedience school, but since Carla will be four just a few days after school starts she’s starting when she’s three. She’s excited and I’m excited too. You just learn so much in obedience school! Daddy and Mommy listen so much better now that I graduated. I can’t wait until we’re both obedience school graduates! It’ll be all cat treats, all the time!

What’s REALLY Going On

Sometimes I worry that Carla actually thinks the things she blogs in her sleep are real. After that picture she blogged about happened, I swatted at her and she left. Nobody messes with my sunny spot. Mommy made a scrapbook page about it. She makes good scrapbooks. Of course that’s because she has great things to scrap about. Sometimes she does pictures of Daddy and our cousins too, but that’s to make it so people look forward to more cat pages.

Here is what Mommy saw:

Okay, so there’s the truth. But I don’t hold it against Carla. She sleep-blogs if she gets a chance and sometimes Mommy leaves my computer on.

Where we’ve been is another story, not the one Carla tried to tell at all. Mommy has been doing organizing. That's moving things from one stack to another and then she makes Daddy put the stacks in different places. I think she just does it to entertain us and that’s okay. If she does stuff on the computer she doesn’t want to pet me and even tells me not to stand on the keyboard! I’m just trying to help. She makes so many typos!

Then she took a break to go see our cousins graduate from people school and she took my computer with her! Carla and I couldn’t blog when she took my computer! I think she needs to get a computer of her own. Now her excuse for not letting me blog is that she had “writer’s block.” What does that have to do with ME writing??


The picture on top is me in my bedroom. Mommy and Daddy sleep there too on the daybed, where Carla and I sleep in the afternoon. I like to spend a little time on Mommy’s hip at night before I go to my quilt with all my bears. Then I go sleep on the daybed with Carla by their feet. Tickling their feet is how we let them know it’s daytime and time for us to get the daybed after breakfast. Sometimes I let Carla sleep in my bed with my bears too but usually during the day when I have the daybed. Once in a while, when she has a bad dream, I’ll let her curl up with me and the bears.

A few nights ago she had a dream that all the world’s salmon was gone! I shivered when she told me about it! I think she’s just getting nervous about starting school in the fall. That’s where the bad dreams come from. Obedience school starts when you’re four and she won’t be four until a week after school starts. I guess being almost a kitten compared to your classmates might make you nervous. I think she’ll do fine. She’s been doing okay making Daddy open the window for us, but he doesn’t always do it. The days where she seems to do the worst with Daddy are they days when it’s really sunny and really warm; the BEST days for open windows. Maybe Obedience school will make her better at telling him.

Queen Carla

Behind Dark Eyes

Hello loyal blog readers! I know we haven’t blogged in a while. Did you see the picture? Kaline’s been recovering from when I beat her up. I chewed all over her because she was hogging the sunny spot. Yep, that’s what you get when you mess with m….

Be Right Back

I Love Football

Behind Dark Eyes

This was a holiday today, Super Bowl Day! For the holiday, Daddy and Mommy pulled the short couch around in front of the TV and sat together to watch. I love it when they sit together because then I get to walk all over the couch and the pillows and them. Super Bowl Day is especially great because they don’t move!

I like people sports shows that have great cats and human people talking that aren’t afraid to admit that the tom is better at the game than the people. We were all cheering for the Patriots because they have a tom named Brady who plays for them. Everyone kept talking about how great Brady is. So, I got in between Daddy and Mommy on the couch and it was nice and warm. Then they both scritched my ears and my chin and all over my back and I just rolled over on my back and even let them rub my tummy. It was so nice! They just kept watching TV and petting me and wow, it never had to stop! Cuddling on the couch between Daddy and Mommy isn’t Kaline’s thing. She doesn’t know what she’s missing.

When the game was over Daddy complained that the wrong team won. But I figure that all the petting I got means it didn’t matter because I was the biggest winner this Super Bowl Day!!

When Someone Breaks Your Stuff

It was 2 weeks ago and it still bugs me. It always happens by someone you know. Carla steals my treats. I know Carla. That’s why she does it. Because it’s always someone you know. So Mommy has a friend that comes over every couple months. It’s always on Thursday. Daddy knows about it. He’s opened the door for him before! He is totally okay with what he does in MY house.

So, their friend, Mr. Orkin, I know his name because he wears it on his shirt, comes in with a can and walks all over the house, including our bathroom downstairs. What an invasion of privacy. What if I had to use the box? I’d have to send Carla to see if it’s okay first.

Well, last time he was here, he came upstairs and told mommy something about “just a few spiders in the basement and no mice.” He said it like he was happy about it! I know when he sees spiders he puts the spray on them and they fall. Kinda mean because they’re fun to chase and a tasty snack too, but Mommy is allergic to them. It’s a people word that starts with an A and means she’s afraid of them. She makes the same face when she tastes Daddy’s diet pop because there’s an A-something in it and she’s allergic to that. I think Mommy is allergic to the letter A.

Anyway, mice don’t have As, so why is it good not to have them? I think Mr. Orkin is why I can never find a mouse in the basement! He must have broken the place the mice live. I found a mouse in the basement before I moved here, when Aunt Azzie and I visited to meet Chester and Baggle. I keep going back and haven’t found one more mouse. Now I find out that Mr. Orkin does something with them when he visits. What a lousy house guest! No one ever asked us if it was okay to make the mice go away! WHO are the cats here anyway??

Mommy and Daddy are in some trouble and it’s going to take a LOT of catnip to fix this one. Oh, and Mr. Orkin is NOT welcome in this house ever again. Is that clear, Mommy?

I’m going back to curl up with Carla for a nap. We got the blankets on the bed fluffed just right! Maybe now that I got this off my fur, maybe I can get some rest.