Under Siege

I’m on the Mac upstairs. It’s the first chance I had to sneak away and blog. I hope this works. The Mac is old and doesn’t work as well with our blog, but I’m afraid to go downstairs and use the other computer. Carla and I are NOT happy cats. They can fill our bowls with red, skip treat time and not clean the cat boxes and it wouldn’t be as bad as it is right now. We’re under siege!

I believe Carla because she’s in the right school now, so she’s learning stuff.  I know I got smarter when I went to obedience school, but even though I graduated at the top of my class, I’m having trouble applying my great brain in this real life situation.

Carla figured out that Morgan is a frankencat. I have no reason to believe that Carla is wrong, but something went terribly wrong in the frankencat assembly. I don’t think the frankencat was supposed to be made out of both of our fur. They must have been saving Boggle’s fur and wanted to make another Baggle. It’s a sweet idea. We all miss Baggle, and Chester and Aunt Azzie too. Well, Carla doesn’t miss Aunt Azzie or Chester because she never knew them, but I told her they were great cats and she should miss them, so she does. But it’s like some of the human movies I’ve seen - a good idea just doesn’t work sometimes. I think building a cat out of fur is like that. They just didn’t have enough fur. They used some patches of our fur to make the frankencat as big as Baggle but it still wasn’t even enough to make boy parts. They made a pretty cat, but it’s not Baggle. It’s not even nice!

So like in that story about building a human from parts, the frankencat started out looking like a cat, even acting like a cat, but it went wrong. She talked normal cat trash at first. We all do that – it’s part of getting to know each other. That’s a cat thing. But as Carla and I got used to her and growled maybe a little less, she got nastier. So we growled more. She attacked us! I mean really charged us and there was screeching, oh yes, screeching. We both did when she tackled us and we barely escaped under the bed.

Now we are upstairs cats. She won’t let us downstairs for food or even to use the litter box. She attacked me at the litter box a few days ago! She has a room upstairs that she doesn’t use now because she took over the rest of the house, so we have to share her litter box and hope there is food in her bowl. We are prisoners in our own house living under the bed! The frankencat has become a monster!

I gotta get back under the bed in case she comes upstairs and is between me and the bed ready to attack.

I Love Football

Behind Dark Eyes

This was a holiday today, Super Bowl Day! For the holiday, Daddy and Mommy pulled the short couch around in front of the TV and sat together to watch. I love it when they sit together because then I get to walk all over the couch and the pillows and them. Super Bowl Day is especially great because they don’t move!

I like people sports shows that have great cats and human people talking that aren’t afraid to admit that the tom is better at the game than the people. We were all cheering for the Patriots because they have a tom named Brady who plays for them. Everyone kept talking about how great Brady is. So, I got in between Daddy and Mommy on the couch and it was nice and warm. Then they both scritched my ears and my chin and all over my back and I just rolled over on my back and even let them rub my tummy. It was so nice! They just kept watching TV and petting me and wow, it never had to stop! Cuddling on the couch between Daddy and Mommy isn’t Kaline’s thing. She doesn’t know what she’s missing.

When the game was over Daddy complained that the wrong team won. But I figure that all the petting I got means it didn’t matter because I was the biggest winner this Super Bowl Day!!

What's This World Coming To?

Cats are getting squeezed out! I don’t think I like people government!

I don’t know too much about people government and I don’t really care about people politics. I really don’t. As long as they aren’t going to disband the SPCA, I don’t care. At least I used to not care. This year the people hired a new president and I’m worried.

My Aunt Azzie was really big on people politics. She used to watch them on the people-TV with her Mom. Aunt Azzie told me wonderful stories about President Clinton. He was one of the Dem Cats and the First Cat was named Socks. Then there was President Bush, she said everything he did was someplace else, nothing in America, so he wasn’t anyone important to an American cat.

The new president is President Barack, which just sounds a little bit too much like “bark” to me! And to make it worse, when he thanked everyone for hiring him, he said he was going to get his daughters a puppy. A puppy? A PUPPY? I KNEW it! His name IS too much like bark! They hired a dog-person!

To make matters worse, Mommy and Daddy were both very happy about it. They helped to hire a guy who likes DOGS!

Oh, it’s bad. Let me tell you!

Mommy and Daddy have that big people-TV, it’s not quite as big as our big screen cat-TV, but it’s big. It’s big enough that my friends Puff, Don’t Panic and Little Bear live on top of it. Well, it quit being a TV. Mommy and Daddy said it became a big blue radio.

They decided they didn’t want a big radio. Mommy needs to make a phone call to see if they can have someone make it a TV again. If they don’t make it a TV again, they’re going to get Papa to bring one of my Uncles to help take it away! Where will my friends live if they take away their home?

It’s not like President Bark will help a CAT’S friends!

And then last night, before Daddy got in, Mommy moved the metal box with the strings that is on the table next to the people-TV and put it on top of my blanket on the seat I watch TV on! It took up almost half the space!

Then, THEN, Daddy came home and instead of yelling at Mommy for doing that, he brought down another people-TV and used up the rest of my seat! He really did! Can you believe it??

To top it all off, this morning while I was TRYING to get a little space around that dumb old people-TV to peek at Cat-TV, Daddy finally did yell at Mommy. He told her not to open the screen on Cat-TV so much because the people-TV is in front of it.

I’m at a loss for words!

The people hire this dog-guy for their president and they start abusing cats. Their new president guy hasn’t even started working yet. He’s been hired, but he’s waiting over two months to start. It’s something about time to move to the city he has to work in, but the house isn’t finished yet. President Bark is moving into his house in Washington in January, after they paint it. I guess the PUPPY has to have a white house!

What’s this world coming to?

Sweet Leaf

Daddy called it “cat nip.” I call it "sweet leaf!"

We got a treat Friday, but it was a trick and it’s not even the scary holiday!

Mommy told Daddy she had a...a...what is that word she said, a puhductive week. She said she got a lot done, so I guess puhductive is tired. Why do humans use so many words that mean the same thing? If she was tired she could just say “I’m tired, I’ll stop working early.” Anyway, since Daddy was home Friday, because he went out Sunday he stayed home Friday, he asked Mommy if she waned to go chase trains after lunch. I think that’s like chasing mice for people. I think it’s a good idea for them to do that. It’s good exercise and it lets them find sweet leaf!

Daddy calls sweet leaf ”wild cat nip,” but it doesn’t nip at cats so it’s silly to call it cat nip! Sweet leaf grows near trains and Mommy and Daddy brought some home Friday night. Dumb old Baggle eats sweet leaf when he gets it. There is nothing to be gained from EATING sweet leaf! When Mommy brought it in, she laid it on the counter in the kitchen. Oh that smell! I couldn’t help myself! I jumped up on the counter to inspect!

Oh, just plunging my face into it and inhaling the wonderful smell! It makes me feel all cuddly and squirmy. I purr and rub the sweet leaf all over me. Ahhhhh! It makes me feel SO happy!

Now of course, I wouldn’t want to play with sweet leaf while I’m doing my cat-manager duties. It makes me not even care about mice or bugs! My house would be taken over in a week if we had sweet leaf all the time, but as soon as my responsibilities are done, GIVE ME MY LEAF!

There is a word of warning to all cats - don’t, I repeat, DON’T let your people be exposed to sweet leaf for too long. It makes them crazy! Not long after Mommy and Daddy came home with the sweet leaf, they collected a flashlight, our treats and Daddy’s laptop and went down into the basement! How weird is that? Daddy brought Baggle and me down too and Mommy gave us treats and sweet leaf while they watched the weather on the basement TV. Loopy parents or what? If they wanted to see the weather, they could just go outside. I wouldn’t do that, it was raining and windy, cats don’t like water, but they could look out the window upstairs and see the weather. The siren was even drowning out the sound of the thunder, so there weren’t even any boom noises.

When Baggle and I got tired of being in the basement, we went back upstairs and Mommy and Daddy yelled! Like the basement is a good place for family time! PLEASE! Then they came up caught us and put us in our carriers to go back downstairs! Talk about pushy parents. Sometimes I don't understand them! You know we could report them to the Society for the Protection of Children from Authority!

We protested being in the carriers in the basement. The TV said the lights were out. That’s why cat TV is better than people TV. The lights go out on Cat TV every night and it’s not something amazing to the humans and animals on TV. Humans on people TV act like its news when the lights go out! They said they had generators to keep the computers going. They need a laptop like Daddy! After a little while longer, Daddy said the radar looked like it was okay now. Again, look out the window for the weather! Then they opened the carriers and let us go upstairs.

The moral of the story for cats is not to let your people smell sweet leaf! What makes cats feel really good, make a human brain do weird things! But by all means, keep some sweet leaf for yourself!