Carla Needs to Learn Sense

Carla ^..................... .^Baggle
If you're looking at my butt, we could be twins!

Hi everyone! This is Baggle and it’s my first official post as a writer for Behind Orange Eyes. Behind Green Eyes is my column because I have green eyes.

For today's column I want to talk about sisters. The orange kind who let you write on their blogs are cool. The ones who look like a skinny you from behind are maybe cool.

I don’t know what I think about Mom or Dad saying “It looks like Baggle, but it’s too skinny. Must be Carla.” I think they need to see my cousin, Tori about some sensitivity training. She understands how awesome fat cats are!

But the insults disguised as cute things about Carla aside, I’m just wondering what will become of this. I don’t want to be a hater. I’m just a lovable kind of guy as long as you aren’t stealing my food or treats. Heck, I’d even let you have a fight with Kaline I’m so easy going. She can take care of herself. She has great claws. See? I’m not one of those cats who treats girls like they’re wimps! But this Carla, well…

Carla is young, so she's like a cow in a shop in China. Cows are big and Chinese places are little, so cows tear things up because they don’t have the sense to know they shouldn’t try to shop in China. It’s the same thing with Carla. She didn’t have the sense to know not to look at me and Kaline until we gave her permission. But other than being too young to have sense, she doesn’t seem all that bad. I know Kaline disagrees with me on that and she and I have had a few hisses about it too. Carla is just wrecking our home.

I think she’ll grow up and learn how to have sense, though. But the first thing she needs to learn is that Kaline is boss. I’m retired, so making nice to me is okay and I can put a good word in for her, but I don’t make the call. I’m just the senior advisor. But she really hasn’t made THAT nice to me, either.

For now, I’m meowing the company line and agreeing with Kaline. I just don’t know!

Help Carla Out - Where's The Door?

I still haven’t decided if this is okay.

I told Mommy I wanted to assist her, NOT a sister! Now, Baggle and I are living with a nasty black cat interloper. She’s the spawn of Basement Cat!

Well, okay, maybe she’s not THAT bad.

No, maybe she is!

I’m locked out of the bedroom at night, where I have ALWAYS slept with my Mommy because SHE’S there. Really, I go in and get on the bed and there she is! I can’t stay because she’s there, all snuggled up with MY Daddy and in between him and MY Mommy! It just disgusts me to see her sucking up to them. I have to leave my own bed.

She lived here less than a week and she was in Mommy’s lap. MY Mommy’s lap! Like a black cat could ever be Mommy’s Kitty Sunshine, likes she sings to ME and ME alone! She walks on my table and around my laptop. Mommy is the only one I let type on my laptop!

Then there’s dinnertime. Mommy and Daddy put a third bowl down for her – and she eats out of the matching bowls that belong to Baggle and me! She drinks our water too and BREAKS the milk rings!! There is some kind of venom in her mouth that causes them to break when she bites them! Personally, I don’t bite the milk rings, but I don’t have spit that makes them break!

She had a room of her own when she first came to live here. I’m not so upset about that because I know that room is actually the people litter room. Can you imagine being locked in a room that smells like people-waste? She had a bowl of food and water and a private box. Private box? As if! This is the realm of Queen Kaline, NOT Queen Carla! There is no Queen Carla, just Queen Kaline! So, I fixed that. When the door is open, I go in and use her box and dig a lot so she knows she isn’t so special. Talk about purrtenshis pooping!

She’s sick too. I don’t mean good-sick or bad-sick, I mean sick-sick. She has a cold and sneezes all the time. There’s another good reason to keep my distance. She’s a little black germ-factory. Baggle and I like to watch the show when Mommy and Daddy give her pills, though. She doesn’t like it, who would? I have to admit I really do admire her ability to spit the pills out a bunch of times before they manage to make her keep it in her mouth and swallow.

Okay, and I kinda feel bad for her too. I had to take nasty medicine when I was a kitten.

All right! All right!

It’s true that Mommy doesn’t sing My Kitty Sunshine to her and they give us more food so we can share and Carla even brought food with her when she came home. I think we get even more attention too, but I’m not sure there. I don’t always come when Mommy and Daddy call. I’m mad at them for bringing her here. Baggle says they call us all for more treats, but Baggle always thinks there will be more treats when they call any of us. Mommy and Daddy also tell me that they brought me home when I was just over a month old and I don’t know what it’s like to live on the streets all of my kitten life and get pubity with no doctor to fix me. I guess she had a rough life before she came here. Mommy and Daddy seem to think we have enough staff to take on another cat in our house. I just don’t know.

I just don’t know. I need to go munch some kibble from one of MY bowls and think about it.

I Was SO Brave!

Yep, that’s me last night! You read that right, LAST NIGHT, Halloween! I stayed downstairs when the spooky spirits tried to come in from the Cat TV screen. The spookies still came in bunches and they were scary too. So many of them from outer space last night, Mommy and Daddy did so good fending them off last year that they called for backups from outer space! Then there was one who tried to trick us into thinking he was a dog, but I saw a people face! It was a small people in a dog suit! That was really scary. I might have come closer and been nice to a dog and then, bam, they take me away from my home, family and treats to live in the TV. I do not want to live in the TV. It’s fun to watch, but I bet scary to live in.

But I trust Mommy and Daddy. They threw those candy bombs at the spookies and the spookies ran. Most of them made threats or anyway, they said “thank you.” Like “thank you” is sincere when you say it after someone throws a candy bomb at you to make you run away. But I stayed downstairs mostly, except when I went to check on Baggle, who was still hiding. I told him it was safe with Mommy and Daddy on the front lines. Well, right behind the screen. They said it was warmer last year when they were in front of the TV screen on the other side. Of course it was warm last year. They put fire in the pumpkin! This year Daddy painted with marker on the pumpkin and they put the pumpkin on the other side of the TV screen. No fire in it meant it wasn’t warm. Parents over-think things sometimes.

So the spookies swarm ended and lights went out on TV. We used up all the candy bombs Mommy made and some of the extra candy ammunition, but there was a lot left. Mommy says those are treats for people. They don’t smell like much, but Daddy sure seems to like the pills rolled up in little tubes. They call them Smarties. I guess if he eats enough of them, he’ll remember that fire makes it warm.

So Baggle and I survived another Halloween together. He’s a good brother, even if he is still chicken on Halloween. Baggle wants to write a blog too, but we decided we could share mine. I want to ask Mommy to make him a logo so you’ll know when he’s writing and when it’s me. That might take a little while because Mommy and Daddy are very busy right now. They keep telling us that we might even have to help out! For the last week they’ve been talking about something Mommy is going to do and that Baggle and I will have assist her tomorrow. Can’t imagine what is so important that we have to help, but we kinda owe Mommy and Daddy for getting us treats in Iowa during the honey moon, so well get ready for assist her tomorrow. Well, I have cat manager stuff to do before I cuddle up with Mommy and Daddy in bed.

Sad News and Dog TV??

.Did you ever get the feeling you were being watched by a dog?

I have some really sad news today. One of the feline stars of cat TV went to the Rainbow Bridge yesterday.

Scaredy Cat was a great actor. Some cats thought he was typecasted because he was a black cat, but I think it was just that he was a really great stunt-cat. He prowled around yards on Cat-TV, stalking the bugs and checking things out, but if there was the slightest noise, he broke into a comic sprint, scrambling to hide from whatever it was that made the noise. Mommy and Daddy sometimes used the interactive screens to make a door noise and that would set him into his act. Yesterday a stunt went terribly wrong.

It was a normal stunt he’d done so many times before. He hears a noise and makes a sprint across the street and gets barked at by Neighbor Dog. But yesterday he was off his game and a miscue brought a car coming down the road seconds too soon. It was Scaredy Cat’s last stunt.

When Mommy came home after dark, “Mr. Dad” from the House Across The Street Show met her by her car. I think he was in shock. Scaredy Cat did his stunts so good, how could it have happened? He had heard that Baggle was a mostly black cat and thought maybe he was doing a screen test or something. Mommy got scared. She was gone most of the day. Did Baggle run off to be on Cat TV when she was leaving??

I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so happy to see Baggle when she came in as she was last night. I was a little jealous, but we both got treats, so it was okay. Sadly, though, it really was Scaredy Cat that died in the show. Mommy just kept saying “That’s why you’re HOUSE cats. That’s why you don’t go outside near the busy streets.” I think she was in shock too. I mean, if a skilled actor like Scaredy Cat can get into a terrible accident, well, Baggle and I aren’t trained in stunt sprinting at all.

Scaredy Cat was a shy cat and didn't say a lot about his family, so Mr Dad has been trying to find his next of kin to make sure they know. Please say a prayer for Scaredy Cat and his humans.

I did find out one weird thing, though. Dog, from the House Across The Street Show, is a fan of Baggle and me! Can you imagine? He sees us watching Cat-TV and likes to watch. It creeps me out a little. We don’t do anything but relax and watch TV, but Mr. Dad says he watches us all the time! I think I’d probably get bored with the action on Dog-TV, but I won’t insult my fans. I guess if you have talent, you really can make it on reality TV, and we watch Cat-TV REALLY WELL!

Well, I can’t disappoint my fans. Falling Leaves is on and they are counting on me watching it!

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Finally Back to Normal!

I know. It’s been a while since I’ve blogged. There has been so much going on!

My Grammy, who makes the cat afghans, got really sick. She was in the people hospital for a long time and Mommy stayed with her a lot. I think her voice got the most sick because Mommy doesn’t talk to her on the phone on Mondays now. She leaves for a long time to go see her on Monday instead. It’s nice to go see Grammy when she can’t talk, but Mommy doesn’t give us attention when she goes away. Grammy got sick in August, just before the world’s cat treat supply dried up. That was awful! But Mommy and Daddy came through for us!

In August this year, there was a honey moon. I’m not really sure what a honey moon is, but I know that blue moon is when it is full moon twice in a month. They call the second one blue because it gets werewolves depressed because they have to be dogs again before the month is even over. Maybe the honey moon is when bees get depressed.

Anyway, Mommy and Daddy were talking about the honey moon and Mommy said they’d bring us back treats. I didn’t realize how serious the honey moon was! It took them TWO WEEKS to find us treats! Our Grandma who visits us when Mommy and Daddy pack suitcases visited us while they were gone, but this was different. This time they were on a mission to find cat treats!

There was one bag of Steenkey treats on the dining room table. I thought to myself, since Mommy and Daddy had to go far away to find treats that weren’t killed by the honey moon, that bag of treats may be the last one ever! After they’d been gone for a while, Baggle and I had to take matters into our own paws. If those treats stayed in the bag and dried out, we’d have killed the last cat treats there were. We had to get the treats out before the honey moon killed them! So, we dragged the bag on the ground and chewed our way into it. If we were never going to get treats again these ones weren’t going to get wasted!

Then Mommy and Daddy finally came home with a bag of treats they found in Iowa. Imagine. The honey moon destroyed so many treats they had to go to Iowa to find some! But do we have great staff or what? They braved travelling during the honey moon to make sure we have treats! Even if they could only find one bag, we love them for their loyalty!

But there’s good news! Mommy was washing people dishes the day after they got back and she said “The honey moon is over!” YAY! I heard Daddy agree that the honey moon was over when he was cleaning our litter boxes. Our parents are awesome staff! They really went the extra miles going away to find treats during the honey moon and now that the honey moon is over, MORE TREATS!

Now things are back to normal. I’m catching up on the work I got behind on in my online cat obedience school classes. It’s hard to concentrate on school when your system is getting used to not having treats. We had to ration the bag under the table. It was hard times for cats, but our great staff pulled us through!

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Happy Birthday Kaline!

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Yeah, Mommy tells me it’s purrtenshis to talk in third person, but I’m a cat. I purr when I’m happy, so it’s good when I purr and on my birthday, I definitely purr, so I guess I am purrtenshis!

I don’t really remember being born, I was really young then but I remember that I lost my Mommy, so I had to find her. I was scared...and cold! I still don’t like being cold. I found someplace warm to take a nap and I remember waking up and hearing someone near the car I was sleeping in. I cried. Remember, I WAS a baby. I was crying because I was hungry.

Well, as luck, or maybe fate, would have it, I found exactly what I was looking for. I wanted my Mommy and I got to meet my Daddy when I found her! It wasn’t until a couple years later that I found out that I was adopted. That’s why Mommy doesn’t look like me. Daddy doesn’t either. We don’t know where my first Mommy is or where I got lost, but I don’t worry about it. I love Mommy and Daddy whether or not I was actually in their litter.

So today, Kaline is four years old! Yes, I’m totally purrtenshis about it. Heck, I’m probably purrtwentyshis!

Mommy and Daddy sang to me tonight and Mommy dished out the birthday cake. I got Surf and Turf birthday cake and boy was it yummy! That’s me eating my birthday cake in the birthday bowl on top of this blog entry. Mommy had to hold on to Baggle after he finished his part of my cake because he always steals my treats if she doesn’t hold him and, after all, it is MY birthday! I ate about half my piece and then I was feeling generous, so I let Baggle clean the bowl.

Later I watched some baseball. The Tigers weren’t doing well, which made me mad. I was named after a Tiger and it’s my birthday – they are supposed to win on my birthday! So I went to see Mommy and got a nice cuddle.

Now as my birthday ends, it’s time for birthday Steenkey treats and maybe some more petting from Mommy and Daddy.

I may have even get purrthirtyshis!

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Say NO to kitten porn!

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I read a story at Yahoo News that was just shocking and shameful. A guy in Florida got in trouble for nasty kitten pictures on his computer. There were 1000 nasty pictures of people kittens on his computer and he says his cat download them. He said he was downloading music and his cat jumped on the computer and downloaded people-kitten pornography pictures.

EW! Ew-ew-ew!!

First off cats only like stuff like that when they get pubity and if they get surgey it stops. The two diseases work together that way and they end up breaking a kitten’s insynct for that stuff. Of course, when your insynct is broken, you have to get fixed. Thankfully, doctors know how to do that.

But even if his cat has never been broken, cats don’t look at pictures of people kittens, not like that. Back when I had pubity, which is a VERY common sickness, I wasn’t an unclean kitten, but back then, when I had it, I thought boy CATS were cute. I thought I liked my men furry. Then I got surgey and was broken so I had to be fixed. Now I don’t care about boys.

But the most suspicious thing about accusing the cat, have you ever tried to download without a thumb? It takes a long time to download something and no cat has the time to pay attention long enough to download 1000 of anything.

I think the guy downloaded nasty pictures of people-kittens, which is against people-law and he is framing the cat because cats are above people-law. No human is dumb enough to believe his lies and I’m going to sign the petition to go to the First Dog to file a defamation suit against him too! A typical hairball trying to blame the more fortunate. This guy gives good humans a bad name!

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Dog Brings Bug Back From Dead in Indy

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I’ve been so busy with my homework for obedience school that I haven’t had much time for blogging. I’m sorry! But I think I’m going to get an "A" in Cat Rule 101, Making Them Obey. I’m getting ready for fall. I’ll be taking a religious studies class. Baggle tells me I’ll love the religion classes, but he likes the old time religion. Catally, I don’t need to be worshipped. I just want to be a good master for my people!

Did you like my title for this blog? It’s what Daddy calls a headline. Mommy says Daddy would not call it a headline because it’s sensationalism. Now, I haven’t taken any advanced human words classes yet, but I know that when you add “ism” to a word it means it is that way. Sensational is really, really good. So…. Thank you, Mommy!

But back to the headline, I got an email from my cousin in Indianapolis on Saturday. I have a bunch of cousins in Indianapolis now, but this was from my canine cousin, JJ. JJ’s not so good at typing in human, but his cat is worse, so we send emails to each other in human. I think JJ revived a dead bug. I would have asked Mommy to help me read it, but she and Daddy were gone all day Saturday and part of Sunday. JJ’s email said, “ANT UNKILL HERE –JJ”

I’m going to have to show Mommy the funny email her nephew-dog sent! JJ is one of those dogs that give people a funny idea about what they actually mean in other languages. That’s where the people-site with lolcats came from. They have loldogs too. I like how, for the most part, they do have a good idea how we think. It’s a great educational source for humans. I don’t like the way they write the captions, though, like we all type like JJ. Most four-legged domestic companions type human pretty well. It’s a little insulting.

But lolcats are fun and good information that humans should read, so I‘m not going to complain to them about the insult to our species. Cats have thicker fur than cavemen.



Mommy said it was a good idea to put a link to the lolcats and dogs. Just remember the spelling is done by humans…or maybe JJ. Lolcats

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School Online

Mommy and I do our schoolwork on the heated seat!

I’m just sending a short hello today from my heated seat with a computer before Mommy chases me off. We share the seat too. I like sharing things with Mommy as long as she waits her turn! Mommy doesn’t sit on it though. She warms up her wrists with it.

Baggle and I watched Lawnmower Man, starring our Dad, this morning and I HOPE we get to see Chipmunk this afternoon, but it could get bumped for Saturday afternoon Terror Theater. They might be showing Wet World again. It’s an okay show, but I don’t really like scary movies. Last weekend, they cancelled all the regular shows for the miniseries, Carnival at the Catholic Church. That’s a noisy show and all kinds of humans walking in shorts and eating cotton candy gets old by Saturday night.

Mommy uses the heated seat with a computer all the time! She says she’ doing school work. I understand that. I’m taking online classes for obedience school too. I think I’m doing better in school than Mommy is because she keeps reading that book over and over. It’s not because it’s a good book either, I looked at it. In fact she made me get off it when I was looking. I think that’s because I understand it better than she does and she’s embarrassed.

There are puzzle pictures and you have to figure out what they are. They’re a bunch of computers. Mommy looks and still has to go back and read other pages to know that. She says she needs to know what kind they are. Well duh! They’re paper computers and paper computers don’t work, so the kind is “broken.” That’s not fire truck science! Maybe learning just isn’t for Mommy. I don’t have the heart to tell her though.

She also plays a video game that she says is for school...yeah. In the video game you pick out computers and put wire on them. Then you have your cat come and step on the right buttons to undo the wires and see if you can remember where they go. There isn’t anything like THAT in cat obedience school!

In MY class, I’m leaning about the word “obey.” Obey is what dogs and people do, but not together. Dogs do it for people and people do it for cats. Our homework is to get our people to write about “obey” and put it on a blog. Mommy is typing for me today.

See? I’m doing much better than Mommy is in school! I guess I’m gifted.

I Got A New Lap!

Mommy got me a present!

Mommy got a laptop computer. Too cool! If you don’t know what a laptop is, it’s a heating pad that does computer stuff. It’s like a lap you sit on, but you can blog too!

Now, I’m not advertising laptops, but they were created especially for cats and small dogs! Mommy’s is a 15.6 inch laptop. Even Baggle could sit on it! It’s warmer than just the table and it has a motor that keeps it warm and vibrates a little massage too. It purrs like Mamma Cat! The humans that work for us are so good with stuff like that, making things that make all nine of our lives better!

First, they made the can opener to get out food out of the cans. Then they fixed the cans so they had lids that could come off when the can opener wasn’t working. Then, oh then, they put the cat food in bags that we can open with our claws!

Then humans went electronic with cat world improvements. They made the phone thing that rings to remind them to give us treats. Then they made the internet so we could blog and talk to other 4-legged domestic dignitaries. Now they have laptops in all different sizes to keep us warm while we chat or blog. Hey are just too cool.

One thing that wasn’t so cool though, Mommy laughed because I look at the keys when I type. It’s not funny! All animals look at the keys when we type! We don’t have thumbs to type like people do when they don’t look. She should be glad. If we did have thumbs, we wouldn’t have needed them to use the can opener. The world might be a lot different now!

I’m going to take advantage of my new multi function computer and now that my blog is done, I'm going to take a nap on the lap!

Ahhh.. Life is good!

Blanket Thief

MY Tigers blanket with me, where it should be!

Mommy is a sneak and a thief! Two weeks in a row Mommy has left before Daddy got home and she’s taken my Tigers blanket both times! She says she’s going to see AAA Tigers and needs the Tigers blanket to keep warm because she’ll be outside.

HUH?

It’s too cold for tigers to be outside! She took my Tigers blanket to the zoo? I’m so confused! Then she comes home after it gets dark with Daddy. I bet he goes to the zoo and gets her because she’s still sitting in front of the tiger place waiting for them to come out. I’m glad the tigers are smart enough to stay in! Silly Mommy!

But when they come home and I get my stolen blanket back, it doesn’t smell like a zoo. It smells like hot-dogs. The hot dogs are people food and they are not really made out of dogs. I don’t think people eat dogs. It’s not politically correct!

Baggle says the blanket smells like a mud hen. Mommy has cooked a hot dog before and it smells like that, but I don’t know what mud hens smells like. I wonder how Baggle knows!

Anyway, I don’t like it when she takes my blanket and makes it smell like hot-dogs, ew! If she’s gonna steal my blanket, she should at least make it smell good, like salmon or something. Now I’m hungry. I think I need to get Mommy to apologize for stealing my blanket with a treat.

Staff Troubles and New TV Shows

How could they leave darling kitties like us without staff?

I’m kinda mad. Mommy and Daddy went somewhere and I figured out how to turn the computer on so I can blog, but I don’t know how to upload pictures! I’m the cat! I have staff to do that. I delegate. But my staff isn’t in the office. Something about Easter weekend and Saturday dinner. Anyway, I’m going to have Mommy add the picture when she gets home. I need to talk to Baggle. We just can’t have staff take the day off at the same time. Hmph.

Cat TV has been really good this year. The new spring season started and there is a new show that is so cool! We see Squirrely every day in the big front screen on Cat TV. Squirrel, the star of Squirrely is just one of the best actors ever. He is a super hero who scaled trees like he is a giant bug, only he’s faster than a bug. He saves nuts in distress and carries them up the big oak tree to put them back where they came from. I just love action shows.

We also have the Weekday Morning Fights. Animal sports are cool and quicker than people sports. They don’t require a ball either. The current champion is Northside Robin. He has beaten Southside Robin lots of times. Southside Robin is a tough guy though. He keeps coming back to challenge again. Sometimes they have a comedy show between matches. It’s kinda like the people clowns at the rodeo,only its bird clowns. This team of clowns called the Sparrows fly in and mess with Northside Robin. He’s a cool champion. He plays along like the Sparrows are a that and the Sparrows fly off. It makes me laugh so hard I almost fall off the tale I sit on!

Oh an great news! Remember how I told you about Mommy and Daddy getting married? Well, now they said they got some money for getting married and they're going to get us the paid channel for Wild Birds of Ohio!! I guess they're going to stay home for dinner and spend the money for this wedding on us instead of getting married again. I guess that means I should forgive them for wanting to go out for Easter dinner.

Say, I have a question. Why was it getting married when they dressed up before, but it’s Easter now?

Baggle says that a rabbit will come and leave us treats tonight. I wanna see this! I also want to stay up to see him because I know Baggle and he probably wants to eat that bunny. I know the Easter Bunny is supposed to leave chocolate for Mommy. I want to make sure he leaves Mommy’s chocolate before Baggle eats him. That way Mommy will be happy and give us more Steenkey Treats!

To everyone who ordered bunny chocolate, Happy Easter!!

Stuff From The Newspaper

What next? A license to have cat TV on a big screen?

Daddy brought me home a newspaper yesterday. The newspaper is where people who don't have computers at home go to write. They print the articles they like and give them to people to read. They have a website too, but the newspaper is cool to read if both of your parents are hogging the computers.

There is a section of the paper where people who don’t go to the Newspaper to write can have their articles printed in the paper too. I think the newspaper plays favorites with the people who go there to write because you see a lot of the same names!

Well, one article in the section for people who don’t go there to write really caught my attention. You can see it here: Letters To The Editor. It’s the second article called, “Cats Never Sought Human Contact.” It’s written by an expert on the subject.

What troubles me is what the article is about. Licensing for cats! The city wants me to have a license to keep Mommy and Daddy in my home! I don’t think cats should have to have licenses. That’s just silly! What's next? Will I have to get a license for hunting mice in my own house?

I asked Baggle what he thought about it. He told me, “Cats were once worshiped as gods. I'm still keeping the faith.”

I’m not as religious as my brother. I believe that humans are equal to cats, they’re differently equal, but equal. I read a political book about equality. If you don’t respect that all species are equal, the pigs take over!

Anyway, I’m just kinda upset about having to get a license for Mommy and Daddy. They are staff, not servants. I don’t own them. They work for me. Yeesh!

If the mayor comes to my door and makes me get a license to have Mommy and Daddy, I’ll just have to write a letter to the First Dog!

The Frenzied Feline

Hi everybody!

I just wanted to make a short post to direct you to one of my favorite sites for reading, The Frenzied Feline.

Mommy says when the human economy is bad, a lot of people have to move from the houses they are in to an apartment. Would you believe some people apartments say you can't have a have four-legged partner with you. What? I mean "no pets" apartments? What a bad idea!

The Frenzied Feline has an article today about how to avoid those nasty places and find a good apartment where you can live with your cat, or even your dog. Noble four-legged domestic partners should not have to have their staff in another place. We need the live-in help!

The Wait Is Half Over!

I got a call from my Daddy today telling me to look at a website. Well, I wasn’t taking calls at the time, so my assistant took a message. It seems that the breed of Domestic Mammal Companion President has been selected. The First People-Kittens, Sasha and Malia, will be our President’s executive staff.

I’m kinda starting to get this whole politics thing. It is kinda exciting. Now we’ll wait for the new First Dog to come home so the whole country will get to meet him. It’s all pretty cool.

The First Dog will be a Portuguese Water Dog. We won’t even talk about the water thing, but I thought I heard Mommy say the President had to be born in America, not Portugal. I’ll have to do some Internet research.

Open a new can of Steenkey Treats, this could take a while.

That works for people, especially on people-tv! But no one brought me a can of Steenkey Treats! Humph.


I am dying for the new season of Cat-TV! The White Show has FINALLY ended, same as it usually does, the climax and only real action, where a dog and his human walk right past the white that’s melting away like kitty ice-cream and doesn’t even notice, then a couple ladies walk by talking and don’t see the white and then the white is gone.

Then there were some commercials for the new season on Cat-TV! I saw a promo for Squirrel. That looks pretty cool. Mommy says that they should get a bird feeder so we can watch Big Ohio World of Birds. That would be SO COOL! I’ve heard about that show on the Internet. I’d love it if we got that on our TV! Then Mommy said she’s gonna make a show called Kaline and Baggle Go To The Vet. Ha-ha, very funny Mommy. The ratings will be pretty lousy if she makes that!

But before the new season starts, we got the season that’s even worse than the White Show marathon. RERUNS! NOOOO! Why do they rerun dumb old documentaries anyway? I want to see that Squirrel and, oh, Big Ohio World of Birds would be so cool! I need to start a writing campaign. See? All the politics stuff is really getting to me!

Okay, well, when we do the final vote on the First Dog, I’ll let you know!

Happy SUNday!

Stopping by to say "hello!"

Happy Sunday friends! And I mean Sunday too! There is just enough sunshine coming in the windows in our office to make Me and Mommy smile, but not enough to make Daddy smile. Daddy says it’s not enough dependable sun to go see trains, so he’s playing on his fold-up computer downstairs grumbling. He says to the computer something about trips and flush and pears. I think it means that the trip to see trains got flushed down the water box so he wants fruit. Sometimes, I just don’t understand Daddy! Fruit is icky!

Mommy understands better. She’s great staff...well, they are both great staff. I love them a lot. But Mommy listens! I came in and rubbed her leg because I wanted a cuddle. Now I’m a big girl now, I don’t need cuddles like I did when I was sleepy when I was a kitten, but every now and then I like a good cuddle. So, I rub Mommy’s leg and she tells me she always has time to scritch me for a couple minutes. I’m not kidding! She really said that to me. Cool, huh? Well, I sat on her chest and got scritches, but I didn’t stay long enough for her to sing the Sunshine Song to me. I love it when she sings that to me, but I wanted to blog today! So I got on the desk and moved the mouse so she knew to take a break!

Cat TV is getting better. The White Show is slow, like most documentaries are, but there are points when things start to happen, and those are cool! Right now is one of those times. It’s a sad part of the show when the white starts to fade and colors show up. That’s sad because the show is about white. Myself, I like all the different shades of gray! It keeps things interesting! During the show last time I was watching, a dog and his guy walked right past all the white like he didn’t even see it! It wasn’t the First Dog though. They’re still counting ballots in that election. Elections for the leaders of the fur and feather domestic world are a little more complicated than human elections. But don’t worry, we’ll elect a First Dog soon!

Well, I just wanted to check in and say ”hi.” I’m feeling a little hungry. Think I’ll go down and see if Baggle left any kibble in the bowls!

"I'm Catman?"

I love my Daddy, even if he doesn’t know how to turn on a computer!

I watched a people movie. Well, I watched part of one. They really aren’t that good usually, but I had to watch it because Daddy said something confusing. And I watched some and it still makes no sense. He said he couldn’t help me with my blog because it would be like another Batman. HUH?

Whatever. I just need help to get on the computer. I can type. I can make a mouse do anything. I like catching mice and making them do things! But I can’t turn on the computer! I don‘t know where the turn on button is. I see Mommy just reach behind the computer and it turns on. When I do that, it doesn’t work.

I don’t think Daddy helping me blog would be like another Batman at all because I’m way better than a people movie about bats. I think Daddy doesn't know how to turn the computer on either.

Mommy has been very busy with her scrapbook store stuff and I have been very good about not being bossy, but when I realized that Mommy was the only one who knew how to help me, I had to bug her. Besides, she needs a break from her busy stuff, says Kaline!

Well, Happy New Year to the cats, dogs and people who read my blog! I guess everyone else can have a happy new year too, but if they aren’t reading here, they don’t matter as much. I want everyone to be happy, but I want them to read about me more!

A lot has been going on since the last time I blogged!

First off, I’ll mention that the new dog house STILL isn’t done for President Bark! Yeesh! I heard that he’ll finally move in this month. It’s about time! Mommy and Daddy both think it will be a good thing for the country and well, I have friends that are dogs now, so I guess a First Dog is okay. As long as the importance of sharing with other species is represented and the puppy has good staff...well, you know what I mean, dogs don’t really have staff. They aren’t known for their management capabilities, but as long as he is a good representative for the luxurious treatment of other species by humans, I will give my respect to the First Dog of the USA.

This is the worst time of year for Cat TV! Mommy and Daddy don’t open the big screens as much, but that’s okay. This is the time of year for The White Show - I hate documentaries! They are too low action. Older cats seem to like it, but I need more going on!

We had the cat toy tree again this year. I think Mommy and Daddy put it up so we have something to do during The White Show. But the tree shrunk! I went to climb in it, to try to catch the angel, and I got just a couple branches up and just couldn’t get through! I didn’t know trees could shrink! I think it’s just getting old. Things shrink when they get old. We need a new tree that’s as big as the one we had when I was a kitten!

Would you believe Mommy and Daddy got married again last month? Yep, they dressed up one day to go out for a while, and when they came back they said they were married. I heard Mommy call her friend and tell her. They sure made a big deal about it this time. It’s not like they never got dressed up before. Parents are so silly, but I kinda like that they made a big deal about getting dressed up this time. We got extra Steenkey Treats that night!

Oh, and Mommy has had an awful cold! I changed my name to the same last name as Daddy and Baggle right after I moved to Ohio. It was easier when we went to my new doctor’s office if I had an Ohio last name. One day when Mommy went out, she came home with her new name on papers. I guess she must have had to go to the doctor for her cold, so they changed her name to an Ohio name too. Well, we are really all Ohio residents now. We all have the same last name!

Well , I think I’m caught up now. I need to figure out how Mommy turns the computer on so I can do this without help next time!