Say NO to kitten porn!

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I read a story at Yahoo News that was just shocking and shameful. A guy in Florida got in trouble for nasty kitten pictures on his computer. There were 1000 nasty pictures of people kittens on his computer and he says his cat download them. He said he was downloading music and his cat jumped on the computer and downloaded people-kitten pornography pictures.

EW! Ew-ew-ew!!

First off cats only like stuff like that when they get pubity and if they get surgey it stops. The two diseases work together that way and they end up breaking a kitten’s insynct for that stuff. Of course, when your insynct is broken, you have to get fixed. Thankfully, doctors know how to do that.

But even if his cat has never been broken, cats don’t look at pictures of people kittens, not like that. Back when I had pubity, which is a VERY common sickness, I wasn’t an unclean kitten, but back then, when I had it, I thought boy CATS were cute. I thought I liked my men furry. Then I got surgey and was broken so I had to be fixed. Now I don’t care about boys.

But the most suspicious thing about accusing the cat, have you ever tried to download without a thumb? It takes a long time to download something and no cat has the time to pay attention long enough to download 1000 of anything.

I think the guy downloaded nasty pictures of people-kittens, which is against people-law and he is framing the cat because cats are above people-law. No human is dumb enough to believe his lies and I’m going to sign the petition to go to the First Dog to file a defamation suit against him too! A typical hairball trying to blame the more fortunate. This guy gives good humans a bad name!

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Dog Brings Bug Back From Dead in Indy

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I’ve been so busy with my homework for obedience school that I haven’t had much time for blogging. I’m sorry! But I think I’m going to get an "A" in Cat Rule 101, Making Them Obey. I’m getting ready for fall. I’ll be taking a religious studies class. Baggle tells me I’ll love the religion classes, but he likes the old time religion. Catally, I don’t need to be worshipped. I just want to be a good master for my people!

Did you like my title for this blog? It’s what Daddy calls a headline. Mommy says Daddy would not call it a headline because it’s sensationalism. Now, I haven’t taken any advanced human words classes yet, but I know that when you add “ism” to a word it means it is that way. Sensational is really, really good. So…. Thank you, Mommy!

But back to the headline, I got an email from my cousin in Indianapolis on Saturday. I have a bunch of cousins in Indianapolis now, but this was from my canine cousin, JJ. JJ’s not so good at typing in human, but his cat is worse, so we send emails to each other in human. I think JJ revived a dead bug. I would have asked Mommy to help me read it, but she and Daddy were gone all day Saturday and part of Sunday. JJ’s email said, “ANT UNKILL HERE –JJ”

I’m going to have to show Mommy the funny email her nephew-dog sent! JJ is one of those dogs that give people a funny idea about what they actually mean in other languages. That’s where the people-site with lolcats came from. They have loldogs too. I like how, for the most part, they do have a good idea how we think. It’s a great educational source for humans. I don’t like the way they write the captions, though, like we all type like JJ. Most four-legged domestic companions type human pretty well. It’s a little insulting.

But lolcats are fun and good information that humans should read, so I‘m not going to complain to them about the insult to our species. Cats have thicker fur than cavemen.



Mommy said it was a good idea to put a link to the lolcats and dogs. Just remember the spelling is done by humans…or maybe JJ. Lolcats

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Science Cat and Stuff

The Science Cat
My experiment shows cats get pretty liquid
on this surface when it's heated up!

Hi everybody!

I know I haven’t blogged in a long time, well in about a month, which really is as much as I blogged when I was a kitten, so it’s not so bad, but I know a regular blog like grownups have is easier to do. hehe... I did not call grownups dumb! My Daddy is a busy guy with his TV show and that other job he says he has. I have no idea what he’s talking about. I thought TV WAS his other job! His full time job is ME! Well, okay, Baggle too, but cat-staff anyway. But I have seen Daddy type, so he could write if he wanted to. Mommy has a blog, so everyone knows she can write. I think it’s easier for me because I don’t have to worry about taking care of the cat, because I AM the cat!

So, summer has been pretty cool. Our favorite show is back on Cat-TV. Don’t tell my Daddy that Lawnmower Man isn’t my favorite. I love his show, really I do! I even like it when he comes on the other screen and does the knocking gag to promote Lawnmower Man. I just never get tired of the knock-gag he does. He comes right up to the screen and knocks on it like he could walk through it if he wanted to. It’s just funny! Sometimes he talks, sometimes not, but he always acts like there is a cat right there and I can’t help but cuddle the screen because, well because I see my Daddy on TV!

Well, about our favorite show, Baggle and I could watch Chipmunk all day! The actor who plays Chipmunk, the title character, is so good! We sit on the Cedar Chest right by the screen and they do close-ups. You can’t help but get into the show! It’s like he’s RIGHT THERE, like he’s sitting right next to you. It’s just so cool!

So that you don't think we do what Mommy worries about, rotting our kitty-brains in front of the TV all day, we don’t do that! I’m studying science! I’ve been doing experiments on Feline Viscosity on Solar Powered Synthetic Fibers! I’ve been reading blogs too! In one of Mommy’s blog pages about blogging, she put a link to a word blog. At dictionary dot com, I got to find out exactly what my science project was called! The Dictionary is a cool blog!

I also stopped back at my old Yahoo blog, which is where I visit my friends from the old neighborhood. My pal, Nylablue, another fine feline blogger, is on Multiply now! I sent an email to get the address to add to Mommy’s reader. I know she has her friend Dutch, who is at Multiply, on her reader. I’ll put Nyla’s address on my blog when I get it so everyone can read more cat-blogs!

Okay, Mommy says her break is over and she needs to use my computer. Parents, yeesh!