The First Rule of Cat Club…

Hiding out from getting shot!

I can’t believe Carla BLOGGED about skipping school! She blogged about it; everyone knows you don’t tell when you skip school, but she BLOGGED about it! Doesn’t she know Mommy and Daddy both read our blog?

Humans don’t “get” feline obedience school. They think it’s like canine obedience school where dogs go. Maybe it’s because they have parent-teacher meetings every day at canine school. It’s because dogs need more guidance. I’ve never even heard of online classes for dogs. Okay, not to be mean to dogs, but they really are the jocks of the humans’ 4-legged companion world; canine obedience school is almost all gym classes. There is a lot more book-work and homework in feline obedience school. Canine homework is pretty much a human saying “sit, stay, obey.” As if! . Feline obedience school is way past that. When I say “sit, stay” I never have to say “obey.” Mommy and Daddy know the drill well.

But as for Carla telling everybody about skipping the first day of school, people don’t understand that’s a good thing. She explained it right, but the concept is a little complicated for humans. I think Mommy and Daddy both got as far as “Kaline and me both skipped school” and stopped reading and got mad. They got so mad about it they forgot I already graduated. Isn’t there a human law statue someplace with limits for punishing after graduation? By the way, there was a cat statue that says you can’t punish a cat at all, but it got knocked over and broken by a Maine Coon jumping on the table a long time ago. So until they make another statue humans can punish cats within the SPCA guidelines. I learned that in my cat-law class. I don’t think the SPCA does enough for house cats. There should be a stricter SPPC (Society for the Prevention of Punishment of Cats). Or someone needs to rebuild that cat statue!

So Mommy and Daddy punished us. Since Carla wasn’t in school Tuesday because she skipped and snitched on me for 2 years ago, Mommy and Daddy had us shot! They stuffed us in boxes and took us to the place where they shoot cats. The doctor’s assistant weighed us and the doctor looked at us and then they shot us both!! And our parents wonder why we don’t like car trips. It’s the drive-by shots we don’t like! No car, no shot. The vet doesn’t make house calls because they know the dangers of trying to shoot us on our turf.

So now Carla knows the first rule of Cat Club - DON'T BLOG ABOUT CAT CLUB!

Sad News and Dog TV??

.Did you ever get the feeling you were being watched by a dog?

I have some really sad news today. One of the feline stars of cat TV went to the Rainbow Bridge yesterday.

Scaredy Cat was a great actor. Some cats thought he was typecasted because he was a black cat, but I think it was just that he was a really great stunt-cat. He prowled around yards on Cat-TV, stalking the bugs and checking things out, but if there was the slightest noise, he broke into a comic sprint, scrambling to hide from whatever it was that made the noise. Mommy and Daddy sometimes used the interactive screens to make a door noise and that would set him into his act. Yesterday a stunt went terribly wrong.

It was a normal stunt he’d done so many times before. He hears a noise and makes a sprint across the street and gets barked at by Neighbor Dog. But yesterday he was off his game and a miscue brought a car coming down the road seconds too soon. It was Scaredy Cat’s last stunt.

When Mommy came home after dark, “Mr. Dad” from the House Across The Street Show met her by her car. I think he was in shock. Scaredy Cat did his stunts so good, how could it have happened? He had heard that Baggle was a mostly black cat and thought maybe he was doing a screen test or something. Mommy got scared. She was gone most of the day. Did Baggle run off to be on Cat TV when she was leaving??

I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so happy to see Baggle when she came in as she was last night. I was a little jealous, but we both got treats, so it was okay. Sadly, though, it really was Scaredy Cat that died in the show. Mommy just kept saying “That’s why you’re HOUSE cats. That’s why you don’t go outside near the busy streets.” I think she was in shock too. I mean, if a skilled actor like Scaredy Cat can get into a terrible accident, well, Baggle and I aren’t trained in stunt sprinting at all.

Scaredy Cat was a shy cat and didn't say a lot about his family, so Mr Dad has been trying to find his next of kin to make sure they know. Please say a prayer for Scaredy Cat and his humans.

I did find out one weird thing, though. Dog, from the House Across The Street Show, is a fan of Baggle and me! Can you imagine? He sees us watching Cat-TV and likes to watch. It creeps me out a little. We don’t do anything but relax and watch TV, but Mr. Dad says he watches us all the time! I think I’d probably get bored with the action on Dog-TV, but I won’t insult my fans. I guess if you have talent, you really can make it on reality TV, and we watch Cat-TV REALLY WELL!

Well, I can’t disappoint my fans. Falling Leaves is on and they are counting on me watching it!

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Dog Brings Bug Back From Dead in Indy

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I’ve been so busy with my homework for obedience school that I haven’t had much time for blogging. I’m sorry! But I think I’m going to get an "A" in Cat Rule 101, Making Them Obey. I’m getting ready for fall. I’ll be taking a religious studies class. Baggle tells me I’ll love the religion classes, but he likes the old time religion. Catally, I don’t need to be worshipped. I just want to be a good master for my people!

Did you like my title for this blog? It’s what Daddy calls a headline. Mommy says Daddy would not call it a headline because it’s sensationalism. Now, I haven’t taken any advanced human words classes yet, but I know that when you add “ism” to a word it means it is that way. Sensational is really, really good. So…. Thank you, Mommy!

But back to the headline, I got an email from my cousin in Indianapolis on Saturday. I have a bunch of cousins in Indianapolis now, but this was from my canine cousin, JJ. JJ’s not so good at typing in human, but his cat is worse, so we send emails to each other in human. I think JJ revived a dead bug. I would have asked Mommy to help me read it, but she and Daddy were gone all day Saturday and part of Sunday. JJ’s email said, “ANT UNKILL HERE –JJ”

I’m going to have to show Mommy the funny email her nephew-dog sent! JJ is one of those dogs that give people a funny idea about what they actually mean in other languages. That’s where the people-site with lolcats came from. They have loldogs too. I like how, for the most part, they do have a good idea how we think. It’s a great educational source for humans. I don’t like the way they write the captions, though, like we all type like JJ. Most four-legged domestic companions type human pretty well. It’s a little insulting.

But lolcats are fun and good information that humans should read, so I‘m not going to complain to them about the insult to our species. Cats have thicker fur than cavemen.



Mommy said it was a good idea to put a link to the lolcats and dogs. Just remember the spelling is done by humans…or maybe JJ. Lolcats

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