Sweet Leaf

Daddy called it “cat nip.” I call it "sweet leaf!"

We got a treat Friday, but it was a trick and it’s not even the scary holiday!

Mommy told Daddy she had a...a...what is that word she said, a puhductive week. She said she got a lot done, so I guess puhductive is tired. Why do humans use so many words that mean the same thing? If she was tired she could just say “I’m tired, I’ll stop working early.” Anyway, since Daddy was home Friday, because he went out Sunday he stayed home Friday, he asked Mommy if she waned to go chase trains after lunch. I think that’s like chasing mice for people. I think it’s a good idea for them to do that. It’s good exercise and it lets them find sweet leaf!

Daddy calls sweet leaf ”wild cat nip,” but it doesn’t nip at cats so it’s silly to call it cat nip! Sweet leaf grows near trains and Mommy and Daddy brought some home Friday night. Dumb old Baggle eats sweet leaf when he gets it. There is nothing to be gained from EATING sweet leaf! When Mommy brought it in, she laid it on the counter in the kitchen. Oh that smell! I couldn’t help myself! I jumped up on the counter to inspect!

Oh, just plunging my face into it and inhaling the wonderful smell! It makes me feel all cuddly and squirmy. I purr and rub the sweet leaf all over me. Ahhhhh! It makes me feel SO happy!

Now of course, I wouldn’t want to play with sweet leaf while I’m doing my cat-manager duties. It makes me not even care about mice or bugs! My house would be taken over in a week if we had sweet leaf all the time, but as soon as my responsibilities are done, GIVE ME MY LEAF!

There is a word of warning to all cats - don’t, I repeat, DON’T let your people be exposed to sweet leaf for too long. It makes them crazy! Not long after Mommy and Daddy came home with the sweet leaf, they collected a flashlight, our treats and Daddy’s laptop and went down into the basement! How weird is that? Daddy brought Baggle and me down too and Mommy gave us treats and sweet leaf while they watched the weather on the basement TV. Loopy parents or what? If they wanted to see the weather, they could just go outside. I wouldn’t do that, it was raining and windy, cats don’t like water, but they could look out the window upstairs and see the weather. The siren was even drowning out the sound of the thunder, so there weren’t even any boom noises.

When Baggle and I got tired of being in the basement, we went back upstairs and Mommy and Daddy yelled! Like the basement is a good place for family time! PLEASE! Then they came up caught us and put us in our carriers to go back downstairs! Talk about pushy parents. Sometimes I don't understand them! You know we could report them to the Society for the Protection of Children from Authority!

We protested being in the carriers in the basement. The TV said the lights were out. That’s why cat TV is better than people TV. The lights go out on Cat TV every night and it’s not something amazing to the humans and animals on TV. Humans on people TV act like its news when the lights go out! They said they had generators to keep the computers going. They need a laptop like Daddy! After a little while longer, Daddy said the radar looked like it was okay now. Again, look out the window for the weather! Then they opened the carriers and let us go upstairs.

The moral of the story for cats is not to let your people smell sweet leaf! What makes cats feel really good, make a human brain do weird things! But by all means, keep some sweet leaf for yourself!