IT'S ALIVE!!!!

Behind Dark Eyes

Mommy and Daddy finished their Frankencat! Here she is:

They call her Morgan and say she’s a sister for Kaline and me. Yeah, right. Like I’m going to have a science experiment as a sister. I can prove she was made out of our fur from the brush too. Look!

This is Morgan in front of the tall screen TV. See? You can see Kaline’s Fur and my fur. I think they even saved some of Baggle’s fur to get the white parts. And they probably could have started their project sooner because they obviously had too much fur!

Mommy said I could be Morgan’s purrsonoal trainer and play with her like I do with Kaline to help her get back her “svelte kitty figure.” I say they should have used less of the fur the saved to make her. Why do I want to play with a Frankencat?

Besides, Morgan the Frankencat is stealing my Daddy! The other night, she was all curled up on the couch with him, with me sitting right there staring at her! And he was all petting her and stuff, also right in front of me. He’s being unfaithful and flaunting it!

Kaline said maybe she is a real cat. She smells like a different cat than us. Well, why does she look like she is made out of our fur? And I don’t care. I just want her to stay away from my Daddy! I’m his #1 cat.

Excuse me; I have some more growling and hissing to do to keep that Frankencat in line.

They’re Off Their Rockers!

Mommy and Daddy that is.

Oh, hi, I ought to tell you why we’ve been off line. It seems we lost our internet privileges for skipping school and they, well, forget to give them back! This is so silly. We both got punished because of Carla’s big paws on the keyboard. I already graduated, top of my class, mind you, and even I got punished for skipping! I think if I was top in my class, even if they didn’t understand cat ways, my grades should be enough to get me not punished

I think they have been preoccupied with their new project. I think they might be overworked as our staff. I try to be a benevolent ruler of the house and Carla tries not to abuse the staff too, but maybe they just try so hard to please us that it messed them up. Carla and I think they’re building a cat!

Here’s the situation: Every time they brush us they tell us there’s “enough fur to make another cat.” Really, that’s a quote, they say that. When they leave the room with our fur I never think about what they do with it. I mean it’s shed fur, we don’t need it. I figured they threw it out, maybe kept some like some humans do with rock star’s hair. I never thought they were serious about making another cat!

So yesterday they brought in supplies and put a door on a room that never had a door. They even closed the door and locked us in our room a couple times. What’s up with that? And the smell. It smells like a cat, but it’s wrong. There is a lot of Carla and me smell, of course, we live here, but it smells like another cat too. They’ve already constructed their Frankencat made out of our fur!

This morning I know I heard a meow from that room, I know I did. Then Daddy closed us in our room again. Maybe I’m getting too close to figuring out what they’re doing!

We’ll keep you posted.

The First Rule of Cat Club…

Hiding out from getting shot!

I can’t believe Carla BLOGGED about skipping school! She blogged about it; everyone knows you don’t tell when you skip school, but she BLOGGED about it! Doesn’t she know Mommy and Daddy both read our blog?

Humans don’t “get” feline obedience school. They think it’s like canine obedience school where dogs go. Maybe it’s because they have parent-teacher meetings every day at canine school. It’s because dogs need more guidance. I’ve never even heard of online classes for dogs. Okay, not to be mean to dogs, but they really are the jocks of the humans’ 4-legged companion world; canine obedience school is almost all gym classes. There is a lot more book-work and homework in feline obedience school. Canine homework is pretty much a human saying “sit, stay, obey.” As if! . Feline obedience school is way past that. When I say “sit, stay” I never have to say “obey.” Mommy and Daddy know the drill well.

But as for Carla telling everybody about skipping the first day of school, people don’t understand that’s a good thing. She explained it right, but the concept is a little complicated for humans. I think Mommy and Daddy both got as far as “Kaline and me both skipped school” and stopped reading and got mad. They got so mad about it they forgot I already graduated. Isn’t there a human law statue someplace with limits for punishing after graduation? By the way, there was a cat statue that says you can’t punish a cat at all, but it got knocked over and broken by a Maine Coon jumping on the table a long time ago. So until they make another statue humans can punish cats within the SPCA guidelines. I learned that in my cat-law class. I don’t think the SPCA does enough for house cats. There should be a stricter SPPC (Society for the Prevention of Punishment of Cats). Or someone needs to rebuild that cat statue!

So Mommy and Daddy punished us. Since Carla wasn’t in school Tuesday because she skipped and snitched on me for 2 years ago, Mommy and Daddy had us shot! They stuffed us in boxes and took us to the place where they shoot cats. The doctor’s assistant weighed us and the doctor looked at us and then they shot us both!! And our parents wonder why we don’t like car trips. It’s the drive-by shots we don’t like! No car, no shot. The vet doesn’t make house calls because they know the dangers of trying to shoot us on our turf.

So now Carla knows the first rule of Cat Club - DON'T BLOG ABOUT CAT CLUB!

School Days Start Today!

Behind Dark Eyes

I’m so excited to be starting Obedience School this year! Kaline finished in June and she said she learned so much useful stuff. The most important thing she told me to remember for today is not to log on to my school account until tomorrow. You see, I’m taking my classes online like Kaline did. She said the first day is the day that stablishes your whole school career! She didn’t go to the first day and warned me that Baggle told her not to go on the first day and she got an A! Well, it’s a pass or fail day, an A or an F. But it’s what they call a benchmark. Before the school year starts, they send an email telling you when the first day is and that you MUST ATTEND. It’s a test! Baggle was a lot older than both of us, so we don’t know if he went to school on his first day, but he was really big on how important it was to skip school on the first day to Kaline and she graduated in the top of her class! So, I’m having my first skip day today!

I’m so excited! I’m already acing Obedience School!

The Cats Days of Summer

Summer is nice for cats! Let me tell you why. There’s sun in the summer and it shines in all the windows and makes everything warm where it’s good to relax. Poor Mommy doesn’t fit on the cat stand or the window sill and whenever she rests on the floor she tries to get up off the floor right away so she never gets to be comfortable. She just needs to learn to relax!

Okay more great things about summer. Holidays! We got a Friday the 13th last month. The best months are the ones with a Friday the 13th! I had great time celebrating with Carla and a bag of Black Catnip!

Now this month is the biggest and best day there is! MY BIRTHDAY! I’ll be seven years old on August 12. I’m a stripey Leo, so I’m half tiger and half lion. Hear that, Carla? You really don’t want to mess with me! We really don’t fight a lot. We share pretty good. Mommy says “for cats” whatever that means.

Carla and I will be sharing birthday cake on my birthday. I get crab for my birthday cake a lot because Mommy and Daddy know that’s my favorite. Next is Carla’s birthday in September. I read that makes her a Virgo. I know what Virgo means and Carla is not a Virgo! But she can pretend to be a Virgo for her birthday. I still think Leo is the best birthday to be. I wouldn’t want to be Pisces. That’s fish. I would have ate my own tail when I was a kitten!

Carla’s birthday will be right after school starts. You’re supposed to be four when you start obedience school, but since Carla will be four just a few days after school starts she’s starting when she’s three. She’s excited and I’m excited too. You just learn so much in obedience school! Daddy and Mommy listen so much better now that I graduated. I can’t wait until we’re both obedience school graduates! It’ll be all cat treats, all the time!