Happy Birthday Kaline!

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Yeah, Mommy tells me it’s purrtenshis to talk in third person, but I’m a cat. I purr when I’m happy, so it’s good when I purr and on my birthday, I definitely purr, so I guess I am purrtenshis!

I don’t really remember being born, I was really young then but I remember that I lost my Mommy, so I had to find her. I was scared...and cold! I still don’t like being cold. I found someplace warm to take a nap and I remember waking up and hearing someone near the car I was sleeping in. I cried. Remember, I WAS a baby. I was crying because I was hungry.

Well, as luck, or maybe fate, would have it, I found exactly what I was looking for. I wanted my Mommy and I got to meet my Daddy when I found her! It wasn’t until a couple years later that I found out that I was adopted. That’s why Mommy doesn’t look like me. Daddy doesn’t either. We don’t know where my first Mommy is or where I got lost, but I don’t worry about it. I love Mommy and Daddy whether or not I was actually in their litter.

So today, Kaline is four years old! Yes, I’m totally purrtenshis about it. Heck, I’m probably purrtwentyshis!

Mommy and Daddy sang to me tonight and Mommy dished out the birthday cake. I got Surf and Turf birthday cake and boy was it yummy! That’s me eating my birthday cake in the birthday bowl on top of this blog entry. Mommy had to hold on to Baggle after he finished his part of my cake because he always steals my treats if she doesn’t hold him and, after all, it is MY birthday! I ate about half my piece and then I was feeling generous, so I let Baggle clean the bowl.

Later I watched some baseball. The Tigers weren’t doing well, which made me mad. I was named after a Tiger and it’s my birthday – they are supposed to win on my birthday! So I went to see Mommy and got a nice cuddle.

Now as my birthday ends, it’s time for birthday Steenkey treats and maybe some more petting from Mommy and Daddy.

I may have even get purrthirtyshis!

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Say NO to kitten porn!

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I read a story at Yahoo News that was just shocking and shameful. A guy in Florida got in trouble for nasty kitten pictures on his computer. There were 1000 nasty pictures of people kittens on his computer and he says his cat download them. He said he was downloading music and his cat jumped on the computer and downloaded people-kitten pornography pictures.

EW! Ew-ew-ew!!

First off cats only like stuff like that when they get pubity and if they get surgey it stops. The two diseases work together that way and they end up breaking a kitten’s insynct for that stuff. Of course, when your insynct is broken, you have to get fixed. Thankfully, doctors know how to do that.

But even if his cat has never been broken, cats don’t look at pictures of people kittens, not like that. Back when I had pubity, which is a VERY common sickness, I wasn’t an unclean kitten, but back then, when I had it, I thought boy CATS were cute. I thought I liked my men furry. Then I got surgey and was broken so I had to be fixed. Now I don’t care about boys.

But the most suspicious thing about accusing the cat, have you ever tried to download without a thumb? It takes a long time to download something and no cat has the time to pay attention long enough to download 1000 of anything.

I think the guy downloaded nasty pictures of people-kittens, which is against people-law and he is framing the cat because cats are above people-law. No human is dumb enough to believe his lies and I’m going to sign the petition to go to the First Dog to file a defamation suit against him too! A typical hairball trying to blame the more fortunate. This guy gives good humans a bad name!

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Dog Brings Bug Back From Dead in Indy

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I’ve been so busy with my homework for obedience school that I haven’t had much time for blogging. I’m sorry! But I think I’m going to get an "A" in Cat Rule 101, Making Them Obey. I’m getting ready for fall. I’ll be taking a religious studies class. Baggle tells me I’ll love the religion classes, but he likes the old time religion. Catally, I don’t need to be worshipped. I just want to be a good master for my people!

Did you like my title for this blog? It’s what Daddy calls a headline. Mommy says Daddy would not call it a headline because it’s sensationalism. Now, I haven’t taken any advanced human words classes yet, but I know that when you add “ism” to a word it means it is that way. Sensational is really, really good. So…. Thank you, Mommy!

But back to the headline, I got an email from my cousin in Indianapolis on Saturday. I have a bunch of cousins in Indianapolis now, but this was from my canine cousin, JJ. JJ’s not so good at typing in human, but his cat is worse, so we send emails to each other in human. I think JJ revived a dead bug. I would have asked Mommy to help me read it, but she and Daddy were gone all day Saturday and part of Sunday. JJ’s email said, “ANT UNKILL HERE –JJ”

I’m going to have to show Mommy the funny email her nephew-dog sent! JJ is one of those dogs that give people a funny idea about what they actually mean in other languages. That’s where the people-site with lolcats came from. They have loldogs too. I like how, for the most part, they do have a good idea how we think. It’s a great educational source for humans. I don’t like the way they write the captions, though, like we all type like JJ. Most four-legged domestic companions type human pretty well. It’s a little insulting.

But lolcats are fun and good information that humans should read, so I‘m not going to complain to them about the insult to our species. Cats have thicker fur than cavemen.



Mommy said it was a good idea to put a link to the lolcats and dogs. Just remember the spelling is done by humans…or maybe JJ. Lolcats

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School Online

Mommy and I do our schoolwork on the heated seat!

I’m just sending a short hello today from my heated seat with a computer before Mommy chases me off. We share the seat too. I like sharing things with Mommy as long as she waits her turn! Mommy doesn’t sit on it though. She warms up her wrists with it.

Baggle and I watched Lawnmower Man, starring our Dad, this morning and I HOPE we get to see Chipmunk this afternoon, but it could get bumped for Saturday afternoon Terror Theater. They might be showing Wet World again. It’s an okay show, but I don’t really like scary movies. Last weekend, they cancelled all the regular shows for the miniseries, Carnival at the Catholic Church. That’s a noisy show and all kinds of humans walking in shorts and eating cotton candy gets old by Saturday night.

Mommy uses the heated seat with a computer all the time! She says she’ doing school work. I understand that. I’m taking online classes for obedience school too. I think I’m doing better in school than Mommy is because she keeps reading that book over and over. It’s not because it’s a good book either, I looked at it. In fact she made me get off it when I was looking. I think that’s because I understand it better than she does and she’s embarrassed.

There are puzzle pictures and you have to figure out what they are. They’re a bunch of computers. Mommy looks and still has to go back and read other pages to know that. She says she needs to know what kind they are. Well duh! They’re paper computers and paper computers don’t work, so the kind is “broken.” That’s not fire truck science! Maybe learning just isn’t for Mommy. I don’t have the heart to tell her though.

She also plays a video game that she says is for school...yeah. In the video game you pick out computers and put wire on them. Then you have your cat come and step on the right buttons to undo the wires and see if you can remember where they go. There isn’t anything like THAT in cat obedience school!

In MY class, I’m leaning about the word “obey.” Obey is what dogs and people do, but not together. Dogs do it for people and people do it for cats. Our homework is to get our people to write about “obey” and put it on a blog. Mommy is typing for me today.

See? I’m doing much better than Mommy is in school! I guess I’m gifted.

I Got A New Lap!

Mommy got me a present!

Mommy got a laptop computer. Too cool! If you don’t know what a laptop is, it’s a heating pad that does computer stuff. It’s like a lap you sit on, but you can blog too!

Now, I’m not advertising laptops, but they were created especially for cats and small dogs! Mommy’s is a 15.6 inch laptop. Even Baggle could sit on it! It’s warmer than just the table and it has a motor that keeps it warm and vibrates a little massage too. It purrs like Mamma Cat! The humans that work for us are so good with stuff like that, making things that make all nine of our lives better!

First, they made the can opener to get out food out of the cans. Then they fixed the cans so they had lids that could come off when the can opener wasn’t working. Then, oh then, they put the cat food in bags that we can open with our claws!

Then humans went electronic with cat world improvements. They made the phone thing that rings to remind them to give us treats. Then they made the internet so we could blog and talk to other 4-legged domestic dignitaries. Now they have laptops in all different sizes to keep us warm while we chat or blog. Hey are just too cool.

One thing that wasn’t so cool though, Mommy laughed because I look at the keys when I type. It’s not funny! All animals look at the keys when we type! We don’t have thumbs to type like people do when they don’t look. She should be glad. If we did have thumbs, we wouldn’t have needed them to use the can opener. The world might be a lot different now!

I’m going to take advantage of my new multi function computer and now that my blog is done, I'm going to take a nap on the lap!

Ahhh.. Life is good!