Carla Needs to Learn Sense

Carla ^..................... .^Baggle
If you're looking at my butt, we could be twins!

Hi everyone! This is Baggle and it’s my first official post as a writer for Behind Orange Eyes. Behind Green Eyes is my column because I have green eyes.

For today's column I want to talk about sisters. The orange kind who let you write on their blogs are cool. The ones who look like a skinny you from behind are maybe cool.

I don’t know what I think about Mom or Dad saying “It looks like Baggle, but it’s too skinny. Must be Carla.” I think they need to see my cousin, Tori about some sensitivity training. She understands how awesome fat cats are!

But the insults disguised as cute things about Carla aside, I’m just wondering what will become of this. I don’t want to be a hater. I’m just a lovable kind of guy as long as you aren’t stealing my food or treats. Heck, I’d even let you have a fight with Kaline I’m so easy going. She can take care of herself. She has great claws. See? I’m not one of those cats who treats girls like they’re wimps! But this Carla, well…

Carla is young, so she's like a cow in a shop in China. Cows are big and Chinese places are little, so cows tear things up because they don’t have the sense to know they shouldn’t try to shop in China. It’s the same thing with Carla. She didn’t have the sense to know not to look at me and Kaline until we gave her permission. But other than being too young to have sense, she doesn’t seem all that bad. I know Kaline disagrees with me on that and she and I have had a few hisses about it too. Carla is just wrecking our home.

I think she’ll grow up and learn how to have sense, though. But the first thing she needs to learn is that Kaline is boss. I’m retired, so making nice to me is okay and I can put a good word in for her, but I don’t make the call. I’m just the senior advisor. But she really hasn’t made THAT nice to me, either.

For now, I’m meowing the company line and agreeing with Kaline. I just don’t know!

Help Carla Out - Where's The Door?

I still haven’t decided if this is okay.

I told Mommy I wanted to assist her, NOT a sister! Now, Baggle and I are living with a nasty black cat interloper. She’s the spawn of Basement Cat!

Well, okay, maybe she’s not THAT bad.

No, maybe she is!

I’m locked out of the bedroom at night, where I have ALWAYS slept with my Mommy because SHE’S there. Really, I go in and get on the bed and there she is! I can’t stay because she’s there, all snuggled up with MY Daddy and in between him and MY Mommy! It just disgusts me to see her sucking up to them. I have to leave my own bed.

She lived here less than a week and she was in Mommy’s lap. MY Mommy’s lap! Like a black cat could ever be Mommy’s Kitty Sunshine, likes she sings to ME and ME alone! She walks on my table and around my laptop. Mommy is the only one I let type on my laptop!

Then there’s dinnertime. Mommy and Daddy put a third bowl down for her – and she eats out of the matching bowls that belong to Baggle and me! She drinks our water too and BREAKS the milk rings!! There is some kind of venom in her mouth that causes them to break when she bites them! Personally, I don’t bite the milk rings, but I don’t have spit that makes them break!

She had a room of her own when she first came to live here. I’m not so upset about that because I know that room is actually the people litter room. Can you imagine being locked in a room that smells like people-waste? She had a bowl of food and water and a private box. Private box? As if! This is the realm of Queen Kaline, NOT Queen Carla! There is no Queen Carla, just Queen Kaline! So, I fixed that. When the door is open, I go in and use her box and dig a lot so she knows she isn’t so special. Talk about purrtenshis pooping!

She’s sick too. I don’t mean good-sick or bad-sick, I mean sick-sick. She has a cold and sneezes all the time. There’s another good reason to keep my distance. She’s a little black germ-factory. Baggle and I like to watch the show when Mommy and Daddy give her pills, though. She doesn’t like it, who would? I have to admit I really do admire her ability to spit the pills out a bunch of times before they manage to make her keep it in her mouth and swallow.

Okay, and I kinda feel bad for her too. I had to take nasty medicine when I was a kitten.

All right! All right!

It’s true that Mommy doesn’t sing My Kitty Sunshine to her and they give us more food so we can share and Carla even brought food with her when she came home. I think we get even more attention too, but I’m not sure there. I don’t always come when Mommy and Daddy call. I’m mad at them for bringing her here. Baggle says they call us all for more treats, but Baggle always thinks there will be more treats when they call any of us. Mommy and Daddy also tell me that they brought me home when I was just over a month old and I don’t know what it’s like to live on the streets all of my kitten life and get pubity with no doctor to fix me. I guess she had a rough life before she came here. Mommy and Daddy seem to think we have enough staff to take on another cat in our house. I just don’t know.

I just don’t know. I need to go munch some kibble from one of MY bowls and think about it.

I Was SO Brave!

Yep, that’s me last night! You read that right, LAST NIGHT, Halloween! I stayed downstairs when the spooky spirits tried to come in from the Cat TV screen. The spookies still came in bunches and they were scary too. So many of them from outer space last night, Mommy and Daddy did so good fending them off last year that they called for backups from outer space! Then there was one who tried to trick us into thinking he was a dog, but I saw a people face! It was a small people in a dog suit! That was really scary. I might have come closer and been nice to a dog and then, bam, they take me away from my home, family and treats to live in the TV. I do not want to live in the TV. It’s fun to watch, but I bet scary to live in.

But I trust Mommy and Daddy. They threw those candy bombs at the spookies and the spookies ran. Most of them made threats or anyway, they said “thank you.” Like “thank you” is sincere when you say it after someone throws a candy bomb at you to make you run away. But I stayed downstairs mostly, except when I went to check on Baggle, who was still hiding. I told him it was safe with Mommy and Daddy on the front lines. Well, right behind the screen. They said it was warmer last year when they were in front of the TV screen on the other side. Of course it was warm last year. They put fire in the pumpkin! This year Daddy painted with marker on the pumpkin and they put the pumpkin on the other side of the TV screen. No fire in it meant it wasn’t warm. Parents over-think things sometimes.

So the spookies swarm ended and lights went out on TV. We used up all the candy bombs Mommy made and some of the extra candy ammunition, but there was a lot left. Mommy says those are treats for people. They don’t smell like much, but Daddy sure seems to like the pills rolled up in little tubes. They call them Smarties. I guess if he eats enough of them, he’ll remember that fire makes it warm.

So Baggle and I survived another Halloween together. He’s a good brother, even if he is still chicken on Halloween. Baggle wants to write a blog too, but we decided we could share mine. I want to ask Mommy to make him a logo so you’ll know when he’s writing and when it’s me. That might take a little while because Mommy and Daddy are very busy right now. They keep telling us that we might even have to help out! For the last week they’ve been talking about something Mommy is going to do and that Baggle and I will have assist her tomorrow. Can’t imagine what is so important that we have to help, but we kinda owe Mommy and Daddy for getting us treats in Iowa during the honey moon, so well get ready for assist her tomorrow. Well, I have cat manager stuff to do before I cuddle up with Mommy and Daddy in bed.

Sad News and Dog TV??

.Did you ever get the feeling you were being watched by a dog?

I have some really sad news today. One of the feline stars of cat TV went to the Rainbow Bridge yesterday.

Scaredy Cat was a great actor. Some cats thought he was typecasted because he was a black cat, but I think it was just that he was a really great stunt-cat. He prowled around yards on Cat-TV, stalking the bugs and checking things out, but if there was the slightest noise, he broke into a comic sprint, scrambling to hide from whatever it was that made the noise. Mommy and Daddy sometimes used the interactive screens to make a door noise and that would set him into his act. Yesterday a stunt went terribly wrong.

It was a normal stunt he’d done so many times before. He hears a noise and makes a sprint across the street and gets barked at by Neighbor Dog. But yesterday he was off his game and a miscue brought a car coming down the road seconds too soon. It was Scaredy Cat’s last stunt.

When Mommy came home after dark, “Mr. Dad” from the House Across The Street Show met her by her car. I think he was in shock. Scaredy Cat did his stunts so good, how could it have happened? He had heard that Baggle was a mostly black cat and thought maybe he was doing a screen test or something. Mommy got scared. She was gone most of the day. Did Baggle run off to be on Cat TV when she was leaving??

I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so happy to see Baggle when she came in as she was last night. I was a little jealous, but we both got treats, so it was okay. Sadly, though, it really was Scaredy Cat that died in the show. Mommy just kept saying “That’s why you’re HOUSE cats. That’s why you don’t go outside near the busy streets.” I think she was in shock too. I mean, if a skilled actor like Scaredy Cat can get into a terrible accident, well, Baggle and I aren’t trained in stunt sprinting at all.

Scaredy Cat was a shy cat and didn't say a lot about his family, so Mr Dad has been trying to find his next of kin to make sure they know. Please say a prayer for Scaredy Cat and his humans.

I did find out one weird thing, though. Dog, from the House Across The Street Show, is a fan of Baggle and me! Can you imagine? He sees us watching Cat-TV and likes to watch. It creeps me out a little. We don’t do anything but relax and watch TV, but Mr. Dad says he watches us all the time! I think I’d probably get bored with the action on Dog-TV, but I won’t insult my fans. I guess if you have talent, you really can make it on reality TV, and we watch Cat-TV REALLY WELL!

Well, I can’t disappoint my fans. Falling Leaves is on and they are counting on me watching it!

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Finally Back to Normal!

I know. It’s been a while since I’ve blogged. There has been so much going on!

My Grammy, who makes the cat afghans, got really sick. She was in the people hospital for a long time and Mommy stayed with her a lot. I think her voice got the most sick because Mommy doesn’t talk to her on the phone on Mondays now. She leaves for a long time to go see her on Monday instead. It’s nice to go see Grammy when she can’t talk, but Mommy doesn’t give us attention when she goes away. Grammy got sick in August, just before the world’s cat treat supply dried up. That was awful! But Mommy and Daddy came through for us!

In August this year, there was a honey moon. I’m not really sure what a honey moon is, but I know that blue moon is when it is full moon twice in a month. They call the second one blue because it gets werewolves depressed because they have to be dogs again before the month is even over. Maybe the honey moon is when bees get depressed.

Anyway, Mommy and Daddy were talking about the honey moon and Mommy said they’d bring us back treats. I didn’t realize how serious the honey moon was! It took them TWO WEEKS to find us treats! Our Grandma who visits us when Mommy and Daddy pack suitcases visited us while they were gone, but this was different. This time they were on a mission to find cat treats!

There was one bag of Steenkey treats on the dining room table. I thought to myself, since Mommy and Daddy had to go far away to find treats that weren’t killed by the honey moon, that bag of treats may be the last one ever! After they’d been gone for a while, Baggle and I had to take matters into our own paws. If those treats stayed in the bag and dried out, we’d have killed the last cat treats there were. We had to get the treats out before the honey moon killed them! So, we dragged the bag on the ground and chewed our way into it. If we were never going to get treats again these ones weren’t going to get wasted!

Then Mommy and Daddy finally came home with a bag of treats they found in Iowa. Imagine. The honey moon destroyed so many treats they had to go to Iowa to find some! But do we have great staff or what? They braved travelling during the honey moon to make sure we have treats! Even if they could only find one bag, we love them for their loyalty!

But there’s good news! Mommy was washing people dishes the day after they got back and she said “The honey moon is over!” YAY! I heard Daddy agree that the honey moon was over when he was cleaning our litter boxes. Our parents are awesome staff! They really went the extra miles going away to find treats during the honey moon and now that the honey moon is over, MORE TREATS!

Now things are back to normal. I’m catching up on the work I got behind on in my online cat obedience school classes. It’s hard to concentrate on school when your system is getting used to not having treats. We had to ration the bag under the table. It was hard times for cats, but our great staff pulled us through!

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