School Online

Mommy and I do our schoolwork on the heated seat!

I’m just sending a short hello today from my heated seat with a computer before Mommy chases me off. We share the seat too. I like sharing things with Mommy as long as she waits her turn! Mommy doesn’t sit on it though. She warms up her wrists with it.

Baggle and I watched Lawnmower Man, starring our Dad, this morning and I HOPE we get to see Chipmunk this afternoon, but it could get bumped for Saturday afternoon Terror Theater. They might be showing Wet World again. It’s an okay show, but I don’t really like scary movies. Last weekend, they cancelled all the regular shows for the miniseries, Carnival at the Catholic Church. That’s a noisy show and all kinds of humans walking in shorts and eating cotton candy gets old by Saturday night.

Mommy uses the heated seat with a computer all the time! She says she’ doing school work. I understand that. I’m taking online classes for obedience school too. I think I’m doing better in school than Mommy is because she keeps reading that book over and over. It’s not because it’s a good book either, I looked at it. In fact she made me get off it when I was looking. I think that’s because I understand it better than she does and she’s embarrassed.

There are puzzle pictures and you have to figure out what they are. They’re a bunch of computers. Mommy looks and still has to go back and read other pages to know that. She says she needs to know what kind they are. Well duh! They’re paper computers and paper computers don’t work, so the kind is “broken.” That’s not fire truck science! Maybe learning just isn’t for Mommy. I don’t have the heart to tell her though.

She also plays a video game that she says is for school...yeah. In the video game you pick out computers and put wire on them. Then you have your cat come and step on the right buttons to undo the wires and see if you can remember where they go. There isn’t anything like THAT in cat obedience school!

In MY class, I’m leaning about the word “obey.” Obey is what dogs and people do, but not together. Dogs do it for people and people do it for cats. Our homework is to get our people to write about “obey” and put it on a blog. Mommy is typing for me today.

See? I’m doing much better than Mommy is in school! I guess I’m gifted.

I Got A New Lap!

Mommy got me a present!

Mommy got a laptop computer. Too cool! If you don’t know what a laptop is, it’s a heating pad that does computer stuff. It’s like a lap you sit on, but you can blog too!

Now, I’m not advertising laptops, but they were created especially for cats and small dogs! Mommy’s is a 15.6 inch laptop. Even Baggle could sit on it! It’s warmer than just the table and it has a motor that keeps it warm and vibrates a little massage too. It purrs like Mamma Cat! The humans that work for us are so good with stuff like that, making things that make all nine of our lives better!

First, they made the can opener to get out food out of the cans. Then they fixed the cans so they had lids that could come off when the can opener wasn’t working. Then, oh then, they put the cat food in bags that we can open with our claws!

Then humans went electronic with cat world improvements. They made the phone thing that rings to remind them to give us treats. Then they made the internet so we could blog and talk to other 4-legged domestic dignitaries. Now they have laptops in all different sizes to keep us warm while we chat or blog. Hey are just too cool.

One thing that wasn’t so cool though, Mommy laughed because I look at the keys when I type. It’s not funny! All animals look at the keys when we type! We don’t have thumbs to type like people do when they don’t look. She should be glad. If we did have thumbs, we wouldn’t have needed them to use the can opener. The world might be a lot different now!

I’m going to take advantage of my new multi function computer and now that my blog is done, I'm going to take a nap on the lap!

Ahhh.. Life is good!

Blanket Thief

MY Tigers blanket with me, where it should be!

Mommy is a sneak and a thief! Two weeks in a row Mommy has left before Daddy got home and she’s taken my Tigers blanket both times! She says she’s going to see AAA Tigers and needs the Tigers blanket to keep warm because she’ll be outside.

HUH?

It’s too cold for tigers to be outside! She took my Tigers blanket to the zoo? I’m so confused! Then she comes home after it gets dark with Daddy. I bet he goes to the zoo and gets her because she’s still sitting in front of the tiger place waiting for them to come out. I’m glad the tigers are smart enough to stay in! Silly Mommy!

But when they come home and I get my stolen blanket back, it doesn’t smell like a zoo. It smells like hot-dogs. The hot dogs are people food and they are not really made out of dogs. I don’t think people eat dogs. It’s not politically correct!

Baggle says the blanket smells like a mud hen. Mommy has cooked a hot dog before and it smells like that, but I don’t know what mud hens smells like. I wonder how Baggle knows!

Anyway, I don’t like it when she takes my blanket and makes it smell like hot-dogs, ew! If she’s gonna steal my blanket, she should at least make it smell good, like salmon or something. Now I’m hungry. I think I need to get Mommy to apologize for stealing my blanket with a treat.

Staff Troubles and New TV Shows

How could they leave darling kitties like us without staff?

I’m kinda mad. Mommy and Daddy went somewhere and I figured out how to turn the computer on so I can blog, but I don’t know how to upload pictures! I’m the cat! I have staff to do that. I delegate. But my staff isn’t in the office. Something about Easter weekend and Saturday dinner. Anyway, I’m going to have Mommy add the picture when she gets home. I need to talk to Baggle. We just can’t have staff take the day off at the same time. Hmph.

Cat TV has been really good this year. The new spring season started and there is a new show that is so cool! We see Squirrely every day in the big front screen on Cat TV. Squirrel, the star of Squirrely is just one of the best actors ever. He is a super hero who scaled trees like he is a giant bug, only he’s faster than a bug. He saves nuts in distress and carries them up the big oak tree to put them back where they came from. I just love action shows.

We also have the Weekday Morning Fights. Animal sports are cool and quicker than people sports. They don’t require a ball either. The current champion is Northside Robin. He has beaten Southside Robin lots of times. Southside Robin is a tough guy though. He keeps coming back to challenge again. Sometimes they have a comedy show between matches. It’s kinda like the people clowns at the rodeo,only its bird clowns. This team of clowns called the Sparrows fly in and mess with Northside Robin. He’s a cool champion. He plays along like the Sparrows are a that and the Sparrows fly off. It makes me laugh so hard I almost fall off the tale I sit on!

Oh an great news! Remember how I told you about Mommy and Daddy getting married? Well, now they said they got some money for getting married and they're going to get us the paid channel for Wild Birds of Ohio!! I guess they're going to stay home for dinner and spend the money for this wedding on us instead of getting married again. I guess that means I should forgive them for wanting to go out for Easter dinner.

Say, I have a question. Why was it getting married when they dressed up before, but it’s Easter now?

Baggle says that a rabbit will come and leave us treats tonight. I wanna see this! I also want to stay up to see him because I know Baggle and he probably wants to eat that bunny. I know the Easter Bunny is supposed to leave chocolate for Mommy. I want to make sure he leaves Mommy’s chocolate before Baggle eats him. That way Mommy will be happy and give us more Steenkey Treats!

To everyone who ordered bunny chocolate, Happy Easter!!

Stuff From The Newspaper

What next? A license to have cat TV on a big screen?

Daddy brought me home a newspaper yesterday. The newspaper is where people who don't have computers at home go to write. They print the articles they like and give them to people to read. They have a website too, but the newspaper is cool to read if both of your parents are hogging the computers.

There is a section of the paper where people who don’t go to the Newspaper to write can have their articles printed in the paper too. I think the newspaper plays favorites with the people who go there to write because you see a lot of the same names!

Well, one article in the section for people who don’t go there to write really caught my attention. You can see it here: Letters To The Editor. It’s the second article called, “Cats Never Sought Human Contact.” It’s written by an expert on the subject.

What troubles me is what the article is about. Licensing for cats! The city wants me to have a license to keep Mommy and Daddy in my home! I don’t think cats should have to have licenses. That’s just silly! What's next? Will I have to get a license for hunting mice in my own house?

I asked Baggle what he thought about it. He told me, “Cats were once worshiped as gods. I'm still keeping the faith.”

I’m not as religious as my brother. I believe that humans are equal to cats, they’re differently equal, but equal. I read a political book about equality. If you don’t respect that all species are equal, the pigs take over!

Anyway, I’m just kinda upset about having to get a license for Mommy and Daddy. They are staff, not servants. I don’t own them. They work for me. Yeesh!

If the mayor comes to my door and makes me get a license to have Mommy and Daddy, I’ll just have to write a letter to the First Dog!