Carla Needs to Learn Sense

Carla ^..................... .^Baggle
If you're looking at my butt, we could be twins!

Hi everyone! This is Baggle and it’s my first official post as a writer for Behind Orange Eyes. Behind Green Eyes is my column because I have green eyes.

For today's column I want to talk about sisters. The orange kind who let you write on their blogs are cool. The ones who look like a skinny you from behind are maybe cool.

I don’t know what I think about Mom or Dad saying “It looks like Baggle, but it’s too skinny. Must be Carla.” I think they need to see my cousin, Tori about some sensitivity training. She understands how awesome fat cats are!

But the insults disguised as cute things about Carla aside, I’m just wondering what will become of this. I don’t want to be a hater. I’m just a lovable kind of guy as long as you aren’t stealing my food or treats. Heck, I’d even let you have a fight with Kaline I’m so easy going. She can take care of herself. She has great claws. See? I’m not one of those cats who treats girls like they’re wimps! But this Carla, well…

Carla is young, so she's like a cow in a shop in China. Cows are big and Chinese places are little, so cows tear things up because they don’t have the sense to know they shouldn’t try to shop in China. It’s the same thing with Carla. She didn’t have the sense to know not to look at me and Kaline until we gave her permission. But other than being too young to have sense, she doesn’t seem all that bad. I know Kaline disagrees with me on that and she and I have had a few hisses about it too. Carla is just wrecking our home.

I think she’ll grow up and learn how to have sense, though. But the first thing she needs to learn is that Kaline is boss. I’m retired, so making nice to me is okay and I can put a good word in for her, but I don’t make the call. I’m just the senior advisor. But she really hasn’t made THAT nice to me, either.

For now, I’m meowing the company line and agreeing with Kaline. I just don’t know!

Help Carla Out - Where's The Door?

I still haven’t decided if this is okay.

I told Mommy I wanted to assist her, NOT a sister! Now, Baggle and I are living with a nasty black cat interloper. She’s the spawn of Basement Cat!

Well, okay, maybe she’s not THAT bad.

No, maybe she is!

I’m locked out of the bedroom at night, where I have ALWAYS slept with my Mommy because SHE’S there. Really, I go in and get on the bed and there she is! I can’t stay because she’s there, all snuggled up with MY Daddy and in between him and MY Mommy! It just disgusts me to see her sucking up to them. I have to leave my own bed.

She lived here less than a week and she was in Mommy’s lap. MY Mommy’s lap! Like a black cat could ever be Mommy’s Kitty Sunshine, likes she sings to ME and ME alone! She walks on my table and around my laptop. Mommy is the only one I let type on my laptop!

Then there’s dinnertime. Mommy and Daddy put a third bowl down for her – and she eats out of the matching bowls that belong to Baggle and me! She drinks our water too and BREAKS the milk rings!! There is some kind of venom in her mouth that causes them to break when she bites them! Personally, I don’t bite the milk rings, but I don’t have spit that makes them break!

She had a room of her own when she first came to live here. I’m not so upset about that because I know that room is actually the people litter room. Can you imagine being locked in a room that smells like people-waste? She had a bowl of food and water and a private box. Private box? As if! This is the realm of Queen Kaline, NOT Queen Carla! There is no Queen Carla, just Queen Kaline! So, I fixed that. When the door is open, I go in and use her box and dig a lot so she knows she isn’t so special. Talk about purrtenshis pooping!

She’s sick too. I don’t mean good-sick or bad-sick, I mean sick-sick. She has a cold and sneezes all the time. There’s another good reason to keep my distance. She’s a little black germ-factory. Baggle and I like to watch the show when Mommy and Daddy give her pills, though. She doesn’t like it, who would? I have to admit I really do admire her ability to spit the pills out a bunch of times before they manage to make her keep it in her mouth and swallow.

Okay, and I kinda feel bad for her too. I had to take nasty medicine when I was a kitten.

All right! All right!

It’s true that Mommy doesn’t sing My Kitty Sunshine to her and they give us more food so we can share and Carla even brought food with her when she came home. I think we get even more attention too, but I’m not sure there. I don’t always come when Mommy and Daddy call. I’m mad at them for bringing her here. Baggle says they call us all for more treats, but Baggle always thinks there will be more treats when they call any of us. Mommy and Daddy also tell me that they brought me home when I was just over a month old and I don’t know what it’s like to live on the streets all of my kitten life and get pubity with no doctor to fix me. I guess she had a rough life before she came here. Mommy and Daddy seem to think we have enough staff to take on another cat in our house. I just don’t know.

I just don’t know. I need to go munch some kibble from one of MY bowls and think about it.

I Was SO Brave!

Yep, that’s me last night! You read that right, LAST NIGHT, Halloween! I stayed downstairs when the spooky spirits tried to come in from the Cat TV screen. The spookies still came in bunches and they were scary too. So many of them from outer space last night, Mommy and Daddy did so good fending them off last year that they called for backups from outer space! Then there was one who tried to trick us into thinking he was a dog, but I saw a people face! It was a small people in a dog suit! That was really scary. I might have come closer and been nice to a dog and then, bam, they take me away from my home, family and treats to live in the TV. I do not want to live in the TV. It’s fun to watch, but I bet scary to live in.

But I trust Mommy and Daddy. They threw those candy bombs at the spookies and the spookies ran. Most of them made threats or anyway, they said “thank you.” Like “thank you” is sincere when you say it after someone throws a candy bomb at you to make you run away. But I stayed downstairs mostly, except when I went to check on Baggle, who was still hiding. I told him it was safe with Mommy and Daddy on the front lines. Well, right behind the screen. They said it was warmer last year when they were in front of the TV screen on the other side. Of course it was warm last year. They put fire in the pumpkin! This year Daddy painted with marker on the pumpkin and they put the pumpkin on the other side of the TV screen. No fire in it meant it wasn’t warm. Parents over-think things sometimes.

So the spookies swarm ended and lights went out on TV. We used up all the candy bombs Mommy made and some of the extra candy ammunition, but there was a lot left. Mommy says those are treats for people. They don’t smell like much, but Daddy sure seems to like the pills rolled up in little tubes. They call them Smarties. I guess if he eats enough of them, he’ll remember that fire makes it warm.

So Baggle and I survived another Halloween together. He’s a good brother, even if he is still chicken on Halloween. Baggle wants to write a blog too, but we decided we could share mine. I want to ask Mommy to make him a logo so you’ll know when he’s writing and when it’s me. That might take a little while because Mommy and Daddy are very busy right now. They keep telling us that we might even have to help out! For the last week they’ve been talking about something Mommy is going to do and that Baggle and I will have assist her tomorrow. Can’t imagine what is so important that we have to help, but we kinda owe Mommy and Daddy for getting us treats in Iowa during the honey moon, so well get ready for assist her tomorrow. Well, I have cat manager stuff to do before I cuddle up with Mommy and Daddy in bed.