We Are Free!

Back by the tall screen TV - Where WE belong!

Okay actually we were free a couple weeks ago, but we had to make sure and we had to reclaim our house. It was zactly 2 weeks ago. Mommy and Daddy were sad. But they tried to be nice and we tried…well sorta. Morgan the Frankencat was just not to be niced with!  So Morgan went away.

Carla did some research on Daddy’s computer one night. You see they put Morgan in her room so we didn’t have to be afraid of her at night, which was good because we never got to see Mommy during the day because she would chase us upstairs if we tried. She was just a mean cat! Oh and we do know she is a cat now too. That’s what Carla’s research was. Frankencats are called calico cats, like the stuff they use in quilts because they look like a quilt. I like real quilts. They’re warm and don’t growl or scratch.

We’d been telling them for a long time to take her back and they finally listened. I was kinda shocked at how sad they were. Mommy said she was sweet to the when we weren’t there. But she also said it was our home first and if someone had to go, it would be Morgan. Well, duh! Like that was ever a question!

So that’s the situation now. Morgan went back to Paws and Whiskers 2 weeks ago and our house has been a calmer and happier place.

Under Siege

I’m on the Mac upstairs. It’s the first chance I had to sneak away and blog. I hope this works. The Mac is old and doesn’t work as well with our blog, but I’m afraid to go downstairs and use the other computer. Carla and I are NOT happy cats. They can fill our bowls with red, skip treat time and not clean the cat boxes and it wouldn’t be as bad as it is right now. We’re under siege!

I believe Carla because she’s in the right school now, so she’s learning stuff.  I know I got smarter when I went to obedience school, but even though I graduated at the top of my class, I’m having trouble applying my great brain in this real life situation.

Carla figured out that Morgan is a frankencat. I have no reason to believe that Carla is wrong, but something went terribly wrong in the frankencat assembly. I don’t think the frankencat was supposed to be made out of both of our fur. They must have been saving Boggle’s fur and wanted to make another Baggle. It’s a sweet idea. We all miss Baggle, and Chester and Aunt Azzie too. Well, Carla doesn’t miss Aunt Azzie or Chester because she never knew them, but I told her they were great cats and she should miss them, so she does. But it’s like some of the human movies I’ve seen - a good idea just doesn’t work sometimes. I think building a cat out of fur is like that. They just didn’t have enough fur. They used some patches of our fur to make the frankencat as big as Baggle but it still wasn’t even enough to make boy parts. They made a pretty cat, but it’s not Baggle. It’s not even nice!

So like in that story about building a human from parts, the frankencat started out looking like a cat, even acting like a cat, but it went wrong. She talked normal cat trash at first. We all do that – it’s part of getting to know each other. That’s a cat thing. But as Carla and I got used to her and growled maybe a little less, she got nastier. So we growled more. She attacked us! I mean really charged us and there was screeching, oh yes, screeching. We both did when she tackled us and we barely escaped under the bed.

Now we are upstairs cats. She won’t let us downstairs for food or even to use the litter box. She attacked me at the litter box a few days ago! She has a room upstairs that she doesn’t use now because she took over the rest of the house, so we have to share her litter box and hope there is food in her bowl. We are prisoners in our own house living under the bed! The frankencat has become a monster!

I gotta get back under the bed in case she comes upstairs and is between me and the bed ready to attack.

IT'S ALIVE!!!!

Behind Dark Eyes

Mommy and Daddy finished their Frankencat! Here she is:

They call her Morgan and say she’s a sister for Kaline and me. Yeah, right. Like I’m going to have a science experiment as a sister. I can prove she was made out of our fur from the brush too. Look!

This is Morgan in front of the tall screen TV. See? You can see Kaline’s Fur and my fur. I think they even saved some of Baggle’s fur to get the white parts. And they probably could have started their project sooner because they obviously had too much fur!

Mommy said I could be Morgan’s purrsonoal trainer and play with her like I do with Kaline to help her get back her “svelte kitty figure.” I say they should have used less of the fur the saved to make her. Why do I want to play with a Frankencat?

Besides, Morgan the Frankencat is stealing my Daddy! The other night, she was all curled up on the couch with him, with me sitting right there staring at her! And he was all petting her and stuff, also right in front of me. He’s being unfaithful and flaunting it!

Kaline said maybe she is a real cat. She smells like a different cat than us. Well, why does she look like she is made out of our fur? And I don’t care. I just want her to stay away from my Daddy! I’m his #1 cat.

Excuse me; I have some more growling and hissing to do to keep that Frankencat in line.

They’re Off Their Rockers!

Mommy and Daddy that is.

Oh, hi, I ought to tell you why we’ve been off line. It seems we lost our internet privileges for skipping school and they, well, forget to give them back! This is so silly. We both got punished because of Carla’s big paws on the keyboard. I already graduated, top of my class, mind you, and even I got punished for skipping! I think if I was top in my class, even if they didn’t understand cat ways, my grades should be enough to get me not punished

I think they have been preoccupied with their new project. I think they might be overworked as our staff. I try to be a benevolent ruler of the house and Carla tries not to abuse the staff too, but maybe they just try so hard to please us that it messed them up. Carla and I think they’re building a cat!

Here’s the situation: Every time they brush us they tell us there’s “enough fur to make another cat.” Really, that’s a quote, they say that. When they leave the room with our fur I never think about what they do with it. I mean it’s shed fur, we don’t need it. I figured they threw it out, maybe kept some like some humans do with rock star’s hair. I never thought they were serious about making another cat!

So yesterday they brought in supplies and put a door on a room that never had a door. They even closed the door and locked us in our room a couple times. What’s up with that? And the smell. It smells like a cat, but it’s wrong. There is a lot of Carla and me smell, of course, we live here, but it smells like another cat too. They’ve already constructed their Frankencat made out of our fur!

This morning I know I heard a meow from that room, I know I did. Then Daddy closed us in our room again. Maybe I’m getting too close to figuring out what they’re doing!

We’ll keep you posted.

The First Rule of Cat Club…

Hiding out from getting shot!

I can’t believe Carla BLOGGED about skipping school! She blogged about it; everyone knows you don’t tell when you skip school, but she BLOGGED about it! Doesn’t she know Mommy and Daddy both read our blog?

Humans don’t “get” feline obedience school. They think it’s like canine obedience school where dogs go. Maybe it’s because they have parent-teacher meetings every day at canine school. It’s because dogs need more guidance. I’ve never even heard of online classes for dogs. Okay, not to be mean to dogs, but they really are the jocks of the humans’ 4-legged companion world; canine obedience school is almost all gym classes. There is a lot more book-work and homework in feline obedience school. Canine homework is pretty much a human saying “sit, stay, obey.” As if! . Feline obedience school is way past that. When I say “sit, stay” I never have to say “obey.” Mommy and Daddy know the drill well.

But as for Carla telling everybody about skipping the first day of school, people don’t understand that’s a good thing. She explained it right, but the concept is a little complicated for humans. I think Mommy and Daddy both got as far as “Kaline and me both skipped school” and stopped reading and got mad. They got so mad about it they forgot I already graduated. Isn’t there a human law statue someplace with limits for punishing after graduation? By the way, there was a cat statue that says you can’t punish a cat at all, but it got knocked over and broken by a Maine Coon jumping on the table a long time ago. So until they make another statue humans can punish cats within the SPCA guidelines. I learned that in my cat-law class. I don’t think the SPCA does enough for house cats. There should be a stricter SPPC (Society for the Prevention of Punishment of Cats). Or someone needs to rebuild that cat statue!

So Mommy and Daddy punished us. Since Carla wasn’t in school Tuesday because she skipped and snitched on me for 2 years ago, Mommy and Daddy had us shot! They stuffed us in boxes and took us to the place where they shoot cats. The doctor’s assistant weighed us and the doctor looked at us and then they shot us both!! And our parents wonder why we don’t like car trips. It’s the drive-by shots we don’t like! No car, no shot. The vet doesn’t make house calls because they know the dangers of trying to shoot us on our turf.

So now Carla knows the first rule of Cat Club - DON'T BLOG ABOUT CAT CLUB!